Kairosoft Simulations Part Deux (Iphone): I have a problem and need help, Why can't you people see that?!

So yeah, fuck Kairosoft. Months ago in the early stages of this blog, I wrote a review of a series of mobile simulation games, namely: Game Dev Story, Hot Springs Story, Pocket Academy, and Mega Mall Story. Those games were like 8-bit heroin to me an I couldn't stop it. Hours upon hours I would waste on these. But eventually was able to kick that habit and stop playing those games. But foolish, foolish me. I rcently checked the app store to find out that they released 4 more simulations titles and god damn it after an hour or two on one of the demo's, three of the four of these stupid games ended up on my phone... So here we go again...

GRAN PRIX STORY: (Iphone/Android)

Gran Prix Story is pretty much exactly like it sounds. You are the owner of a race team and you have to train and develop a driver and his team of mechanics to build yourself a car and research its parts to win races and earn more money to expand your facilities and team. This is the game that is most representative of the the original Kairosoft stimulation Game Dev Story.  There is no building simulation so all you need to focus on is the numbers that pop up for you. As you win races you earn prize money, and with that prize money it allows you to build new cars. As you build and race you can get research points to upgrade the gear you have to research to make new stuff. You also can get sponsors who pay you every year and will help you unlock more sponsors or new gear. As you win races you will get invited to a Gran Prix. Win a Gran Prix and it moves you up the next cycle. Its pretty simple and I really got hooked on this one.

Here is my pro tip for this one. The Protocar will be one of the fastest you can get early. Build car parts that best support handling. On long straights speed is good but on dirt or ice roads you are boned. I had a Protocar with Ice tread tires, a V12 Engine, and a Supercharger and that pretty much will carry you through most of the game. Its also is a good idea to higher mechanics with the best TECH score. It will help get more research points faster and when your racer gets an aura, use it for training or when you start building a car or installing parts for the best effects. Once you've maxed what you use, start leveling things to half to unlock new cars and parts.

POCKET LEAGUE: (Iphone/Android)

Pocket League is a soccer management simulation. You start off with a base team of scrubs and you train them at your facilities to booster up their stats. They can train on the practice field or use the facilities you build to earn more skill points. You can play in exhibition games to get some start up capital but you won't earn bigger bucks until you start winning some cup games. Defeat all the teams in the cup to win money and gather up high profile players in free agency. Try to max out their stats and crush your opponent. Its pretty cut and dry.  You can place new facilities as you expand which allow for different training or coaching options. I don't think I ever beat the world level of this game though. And music for this one was a bit more annoying than all the rest. It has smaller sprites too, perhaps to get the whole soccer field size right but eh, seemed less detailed to me.

My tips for this one is get yourself a Superstar player as soon as you can afford it. Probably some kind of Striker who can play FW and maybe a world class Goalie. Put your team in the 4-3-2-1 arrow formation and teams will find it difficult to reach your goal, and your striker will be able to outplay the opponent and score pretty much on a whim. Once you have that in place you can start fleshing out your team by working your way down the arrow hiring more superstars as you go and the cap will allow for it. Once you get three FW's just start training them to their max potential and you'll be winning games by double digits till the World League.

OH! EDO TOWNS: (Iphone/Android)

Oh! Edo Towns is true to its roots and is an actual civilization simulation game. You are the lord of a feudal domain and you are basically trying to raise a popular and prosperous city for your citizens. Starting off with simple farmers you make money and open up new plots for people to move in, as the economy grows you begin to build businesses for people to spend their money and earn skill points. As they attain more skills they can eventually change their professions to artisans, merchants, warriors, or eventually vassals. Like many of the other simulations they release placing certain buildings perform better when placed next to other compatible buildings. Your artisans can also create items that increase citizens or buildings yield, which ultimately brings more people to your village.

Unless you watch a lot of anime and have a pretty reasonable grasp of Japanese culture, you may not know what some of the building types are or what their use is, so it can be a little frustrating to figure out. This is the one I had the most trouble with getting grasp on. The one thing to remember is unlike some of the other sims, the people have limited move distances, so start off small. Build some homes together, build some shops nearby, and build some fields near by in the other direction. If you place shops or jobs too far away from citizens homes they wont work and won't earn you money. Eventually they will be able to get horses which let them travel farther, but build in blocks. Its the best way to go.

VENTURE TOWNS: (Iphone/Android)

Lastly, there is Ventue Towns. I haven't purchased this one yet because its boasting a rather steep 3.99 price tag in my opinion. From what I gather from the the reviews and app description, it appears to be a more westernized version of Oh! Edo Towns. I can tell myself that because it's nearly the same thing, I don't need to buy that one. But I give it about 10 days or so and I'll probably break down and play this one too.

Seriously people. Its an addiction and I can't stop. WHY is nobody helping me?! They should not be as addicting as they are. But for whatever reason, I continue to buy and waste time with these. And god damn it if I have to suffer, I want others to suffer with these too.... And want to know that I was responsible...

Final Fanatasy XIII-2 (PS3): They want us to take the hint, and we won't.

Aside from maybe the Silent Hill franchise, Final Fantasy games are pretty much the one game that my whole world comes to a screeching halt to play. Addicted since the first of the franchise I have faithfully followed along, and enjoyed pretty much all of them (yes even 8... Kind of). But even past some of their hiccups like their Gamecube releases, the MMO nonsense, or the excessive masturbation of their most overrated title in Final Fantasy 7, I have merrily played along like the good little lapdog I am. But as games continued to be released, I noticed a bit of a disappointing trend. In Final Fantasy X and X-2 I noticed that the games started to get a bit linear. In Final Fantasy XII the game started to take away control from the player, and then finally in Final Fantasy XIII the game was basically a series of straight lines, a fighting system that did all the work for you, and to top it off the story line and cast of characters were just terrible. As a longtime fine, I have to say I was heartbroken by this. So with a bit of trepidation, I picked up the their next attempt with.....

FINAL FANTASY XIII-2: (PS3/XB360)

So Squeenix has taken another crack at doing a direct sequel to a Final Fantasy game. Now say what you want about Final Fantasy X-2, while the story was a little lack luster and didn't have nearly the punch its prior did, it was still fun to play and did give me some nostalgia for the world of Spira and I was happy to see those characters again. And despite making some changes to the game play and trying to produce a more overall lighter (or downright goofy) tone, it didn't take away too much from the feel and it still felt like I was playing more Final Fantasy X (a less good one, but still.)

So Final Fantasy XIII-2 kicks off with previous games protagonist, Lightning, kneeling in prayer before a throne. She moves to the balcony of a what appears to be a very large castle to find a dark brooding man with a massive weapon holding some girl who dissipates into the lake they are standing in. The man then turns around and swings his obligatory over compensatory sword around and summons an army of monsters. Lighting calls upon Odin and summons monsters of her own and a large scale over the top battle commences. As big hunks of rock begin to fly around Lightning and this yet to me be named villain do battle, when suddenly this large portal opens above the castle and a brown haired young man begins to plummet through it. Lightning identifies him as Noel, who she has seen in her dreams, and gives him a quest to go find her sister Serah and bring her back to Lightning. Serah, meanwhile is adjusting with the survivors of Cocoon's fall and living on Gran Pulse. She seems to be the only who remembers Lightning giving her and Snow the blessing to get married, but everyone else believes she was trapped in the crystal pillar that keeps Cocoon from crashing down. She has a bizarre dream that shows her the battle Lightning was in and then their camp is attacked by monsters seeming ripping through air. Noel appears through one of the gates and helps fend off the monsters. After some confused explanation, he tells Serah that Lightning is alive, and if she wants to see her again, she has to come with him. And thus starts our adventure through time and space to right wrongs and find Lightning....

I'll give Squeenix this, Their cut scenes are top notch. 

So ok, right off the bat the story is already way better than FF13. One of my biggest problems with FF13 is that I don't think at any point in the game I had any friggen clue what the hell was going on. While I do like stories with the concepts of time travel, it does feel a little like its been done before. That might be why I feel I am able to follow along better with what is happening in the course of the game. The game also suffers from a problem in the previous game where every cut scene in the game sounds the same."It's a paradox! We need to save the future! CAIUS!!! I want to see Lightning again!" Alright I friggen get it, hopefully this doesn't continue through the whole game.. Luckily they don't fall into the pitfall of cramming all of the back story into text logs that you have to read to understand the exposition. They do however take every opportunity to cram more shit to read in the data log at any given opportunity, but for the most part you don't have to read it. It basically turns into how long can you stand seeing that blinking exclamation mark. Squeenix, your game is already pretty text heavy. Stop giving us more to read.

There is one flaw that I have with how the story progresses though. When you transport from time to time, it takes you to this big timeline menu that drops you off in different times and different places, and the further you get in the game more places you unlock. I suppose the best comparison I can give would be like Chrono Trigger's end of time. It basically functions as a hub where you would chose where in time you would want to go. But at least in that game you could roam around and talk to your party, in FF13-2 its just a menu where you get some blurbs about the time period and whats happening in it before jumping into a loading screen. It breaks the flow of the game a lot in my opinion and I feel the story would have streamlined better if at least for the first few jumps you wouldn't have to navigate the menu. Just a thought.

Graphically, there isn't much for me to comment on. They continue to step the level up with every game and the characters get more and more lifelike, even more so in the cut scenes. And they are doing a pretty good job of making CG to game play seamless. Pretty much like watching a movie.

The soundtrack is completely unmemorable. I sometimes catch samples of the theme from the last game, the battle music can be pretty upbeat in some fights, and the chocobo theme is still in there kinda, but otherwise its not important enough to mention.

I hold FF13's cast to be possibly one of the worst ones in franchise history. With the exception of Fang, most of them were completely unlikable or at the very least uninteresting, and that's a real big problem for a game that's story based. If you don't fall in the love with the characters all the hardships, twists, and triumphs are meaningless. Aeris' death in 7 or Yuna's goodbye message in 10 gives a strong emotional punch in the heart, because they have genuinely likable personalities and you grow with those characters because you can relate to them during their adventure. Some of FF13's biggest twists would leave me completely apathetic because I rarely understood what was going on, so I couldn't care what was happening to people. Thankfully in FF13-2, they realized the only person with a shred of likable personality was Serah. She is kind, sweet, caring, and almost innocent to a degree. When monsters start to attack, she is visibly scared and unsure when a fight starts. When a problem arises, she doesn't shoot it down with an icy glare and respond with angst. Within the first few cut scenes I saw her as a refreshing change and was easy to get behind. When Noel came into play, he comes off as a bit cavalier and easy going considering the situation he's in. Even when he's being grilled about his sad past, he gets angsty only for a few brief moments before laughing or shrugging it off. They two of them produce a nice dual act and they function as a good pair to carry the game. Unfortunately since this game is in the same universe as FF13, some of the older characters will show up in this one. Hope is still a whiny douche bag and Snow is still an retarded alpha male jackass. Luckily they don't seem to be in the game very long.

I guess I should probably discuss the actual game at some point huh. Battle in the game is functionally unchanged from the previous title. The team breaks into certain job classes on the fly and you have to use the right combos to stagger the enemy for big damage. Typically you will use 2 ravagers and a commando to stagger the enemy then start wailing on them until you need a medic. But I usually find this to turn into a trial and error system with boss fights. When if you lose to a boss more than once, then your paradigm set up isn't going to work and you have figure out what to change. It can get annoying and led me to an incredibly difficult first battle with Caius (the primary antagonist).  You can switch party leader mid battle, so when your controlling character goes down it just switches instead of game overs, so big plus there. And like last game, most of the time you will just be clicking auto-battle and wishing you could be a bigger part of the fun. I don't know why this system gets so much praise, its more of a Final Fantasy game taking away play from the player.

Instead of having 3 party members, you get ability to summon monsters you've beaten. You can level them individually and when they run out of use have another monster absorb their abilities. Allows you to fill in the holes for your paradigms. I have like 20 something monsters and there's really only three or four I level up until I find a new one with a base level higher than my leveled ones.  You level Serah, Noel, and the monsters along the crystarium, which is just one linear path and you just select what job class you want to put levels in. When you complete the grid it expands and gives you new ability, more attacks in a battle, or a boost the abilities you are currently leveling.  Its a bit simplistic and leaves me with the problem of never thinking I am leveling right. At least with 10's sphere grid I had a path to follow and knew what I was doing.

Maps have lost some of the linearity that plagued the previous title. Typically you are dropped in a town or village and a bit of open map to explore, which is big change of pace from the last game. Some of the dungeons are particularly huge with puzzles to unlock to proceed through all of it. In towns and populated areas some of the people will have some random comments as you walk past. Sometimes the people will give you side quests to do which usually involves finding an item in another timeline, or killing a certain set of monsters or whatever. There is no limit to accepting them so that makes it better than the prior of just having to do them one at a time (I believe, its been a while).

If this review feels like I've rambled on but didn't really say anything I'd say that's pretty indicative to my feelings toward this game. I really have no idea what else I can say about it. I haven't finished it yet but I am looking to do so, but a number of times I've played the game I have nodded off to sleep in mid play, the story is interesting but not so interesting that I had to keep playing. Since I've picked it up I've gone back to play other games I have already beaten. The longer I play these games the more I feel like Square has no interest in making video games anymore. They want to make CG movies like FF7: Advent Children. And with each passing release that seems to become more apparent. If you are like me, this game will probably be in your collection if you have followed this franchise for a long time. Its definitely better than its predecessor I feel but something about it just lacks punch. I really want to like it more, but given all the complaints people had about the last one, I can't help but feel disappointed they didn't bring more to the table here. Come on Square, give me that next gen remake of Final Fantasy 6 I've been begging for.

Saint's Row: The Third (XB360): Swinging around a Big Purple Dick.

When I first heard about Saint's Row I had heard that it was a Grand Theft Auto clone and nothing more.  Because of this I had no interested in playing it. Same thing when Saint's Row 2 came around. But a few months after it was released I started to hear some rave reviews about how it was better than GTA. So intrigued I took home the second installment and after making a friggen picture perfect image of myself I began a highly entertaining play through that forever made me a fan of the game. After backtracking to the first game, I was more than ready to sit down and start playing...

SAINT'S ROW: THE THIRD (XB360)

The game picks up a few years after the events of  Saint's Row 2, and the 3rd Street Saints are the hottest thing on the streets since Wrangler jeans. Television shows, energy drinks, movie deals, their own clothing line, and still taking the time to bang on the streets. The game opens up with a severely made over version of the SR2 cast about to pull of a bank heist with some method acting movie star, although the routine has become that, just routine and uninteresting. However, this heist goes wrong as all the tellers are armed with shotguns and shit quickly goes haywire. After then ensuing gunfight with the bank tellers and the subsequent police swat teams, the Saints are arrested and then taken to the figure head of an organization known as the Syndicate. They offer the Saints a shitty deal and in typical Saints fashion mayhem ensues. After a daring escape we take control of the action and begin to take the streets of Steelport and get back at the Syndicate.

So right out the gate, I have to say I was a little disappointed with a lot of the hype going into this game. Primarily I was not thrilled with the overall design this time around. Everything in the trailer seemed very over the top and cartoony and when they started to show the game play footage it wasn't looking to be much better. When the game first opened up I wasn't even sure if the cast was the same until someone mentioned Shaundi. Looking at her new image I didn't even think it was her, I was actually disappointed because the easy going chill hippy chick had turned into the gun toting gangsta psycho. I guess it makes sense on a thematic level, she joins this gang and rises to the top ranks, then becomes famous has money so she changes her image, but ugh.. Makes her a lot less likable. It seems like all of the characters in this game took a step back visually, as pretty much every seems to have adopted a more animeish kind of appearance, and I would say this stands out with the twins the most. Its not off putting I guess, but SR2 did a better job of finding a realistic balance between real and silly.

Nope, not Tom Clancy's HAWX. Missions get as out of hand as this.

Speaking of the characters, the create a character for this one seems to be severely cut down this time around. I usually make two characters when I play a game like this, one of me and then just one designed completely off the wall. The first time through I try to make a reasonable facsimile of myself, ended up doing alright just inside of a half hour. But in Saints Row 2 almost every option had sliders which gives incredible depth to each option. This version of the game they took away sliders to just one extreme to another on some options. They also cut away layers as well. Before you could pick undies, socks, undershirt, shirt, jacket, pants, shoes, hat and accessories. And with almost all of these features you have a slider to adjust things and how they sit to your liking. Now you are restricted to upper body, lower body, undies shoes and hat. It seems like a nit picky thing to complain about but it seems like it would have been easy to just lift that from 2 to 3.

I felt the face wrinkles were a nice touch. Shows how fucking tired I look all the time

Ok, So watching me being all badass helps this game be awesome. Love when my character actually looks like me

Control is basically what you would expect out of this franchise. If you have ever played a Saint's Row game or even a GTA then nothing they throw at you here is gonna knock you for a loop. The combat is still fast fluid and fun with switching weapons and running and gunning being as simple and fun as it ever has been. Cars seem to handle a little more realistically than the last game but it still maintains that arcadey feel of being able to take a turn doing like 90 mph. Now if you are being pursued by another car you can actually shake them in traffic or turns unlike in the 2nd game where if you were being chased, they were on your ass constantly.

The game is presented as the typical GTA clone usually is. Although instead of finding your mission checkpoints on the map, now you have to make a call to one of the members of your crew to activate the checkpoint before you start the mission. Otherwise you are free to explore the city, fight gangsters, or complete the goofy minigames the city has to offer. Most of them are still there and to its credit, now they aren't exactly mandatory to do to unlock missions like they were in previous installments. This time around your respect functions as more of and experience gauge and the more you have the more abilities you can unlock. They did take away most of the cutscenes that go with it that explain why you need to do 300,000 dollars of damage with a tank or why you need to fling yourself in front of traffic. And what the fuck happened to the bouncer minigame, you pricks? I loved just flinging rabid fans off the roof of a building.

The games pacing is a bit off too. I get that the 3rd Street Saints are kind of a big deal by this point in their mythos, but you are basically in a shithole apartment for about 2 missions before you raid a massive multistory tower to get an elaborate pad. By that point you are already firing rocket launchers, sniper rifles, flying attack choppers. Weapons are pretty inexpensive and so are car mods. So there are two ways to look at this: Either its cool because it gives me the toys to wreck havoc early, or it sucks because there is no build up to get these rewards and their effect is diminished. Saints Row has always had a bit of a silly approach to the game, and by making the action as over the top it really amplifies this effect. Speaking of silly? Yes, this is a weapon....

No better way to humiliate someone then publicly beating them to death with a giant purple dick.

The game has a Whored mode which is basically just a series of rapid fire challenges its entertaining for a little but it just seems like something they could have spliced into the main game. There is also an online Co-op mode to play the campaign, but if you are going to play that make sure you have punched in your online pass. I have a friend who yelled at me for like two weeks about not playing the online mode with her, and after waiting for her for 2 hours to get to position to invite me to her game, she realized she didn't have the online pass and I basically waited for nothing.  More companies basically trying to kill used online gaming.

We did eventually get the online going, She gave her Vespa nitro....

Lastly I'd like to go over the sountrack a bit. One thing that Grand Theft Auto has over Saints Row is the goofy talk radio stations that you can listen to instead of the music stations. These to me are always funny and I was pretty disappointed to find out they weren't in this one. The radio stations were pretty lack luster for the most part I felt, there are a couple of decent tracks but for the most part nothing I really cared for. One feature that the game gives you is the ability to make a mix tape so you can just select the songs you like from all the radio stations and put them on to one. I was able to find some decent songs but ultimately I didn't think much of it....  However, on specific missions, they will play a song off the soundtrack to add to the feel of the mission. There is one specifically near the end of the game that I won't spoil (unless you know me on Derpbook) but its placement was so perfect and so genius that not only did it sell the whole mission for me, but it kind of dictated my decision to what I was going to do when I was presented with a choice as well. Days after I had finished it I was still humming the song and wanted to keep playing that mission. The soundtrack may have not been the best I've heard in a game, but they made some fucking genius calls for the placement of some of these songs.

Ultimately Saints Row: The Third knows what it is. It knows it was seen as a Grand Theft Auto knock off, so they go over the top to make things very silly and fun to play. Its because of this stance that I find myself agreeing with some of the people that think Saints Row is better. Even though I came into this game with lukewarm feelings about it, playing through it changed my opinion. If you have never picked up a game in this franchise you're really missing out. Its just a solidly built fun to play game.

Dead Rising 2: Off the Record (XB360/PS3): I've covered this game, you know....

So after the hideous abortion that I suffered through in Dead Island, I have been pretty eager to get around to playing this one. When the Xbox 360 was first released I was never a hurry to get one, and didn't till 3 years after release. They just released a shooter then a sport game, then a shooter, then a sport game. This continued for friggen years and I told myself I wouldn't get a 360 till they released some titles I had to have. One of those titles was Dead Rising, at the time a fresh angle from they typical Capcom survival horror genre to one of more hacky slashy action. With some minor frustrations it gave me everything I wanted in it. The subsequent sequel, they fixed many of those issues, but then took away the iconic hero we've come to love. So they've since released another version in....

DEAD RISING 2: OFF THE RECORD (XB360)

Basically the story picks up from the events of the first Dead Rising following the original protagonist Frank West. After being the journalist who uncovered the zombie infestation in Willamette, Frank was on a rocket to super stardom. Best selling books, hot girlfriend, meetings with the president, tv appearances, etc. But as his rise to fame inflated, it eventually had to burst. His TV show gets cancelled and he begins to bottom out, spending his time alone and drowning in the bottom of the bottle. As zombies become more common place he makes the decision to get his life back in order he'd make some money by going to Fortune City and fighting on a reality show apparently hosted by the Rock called Terror Is Reality, where he uses his zombie fighting skills to earn money. After an empty feeling victory, as he leaving he see's the Rock (actually called TK) make an a suspicious transaction with someone before fighting off some thugs who have cornered him. As he leaves the building there is an explosion that releases hoards of zombies and begins killing innocent people. After making his way to the saferoom with other survivors, a news story runs pinning the explosion on an zombie support activist group called C.U.R.E and their leader Stacey. So Frank and Stacey take to the zombie infested casino resort to discover the truth....

Did some of that sound familiar? Yeah, it did for me too. Almost like I have played this game already. Probably because I have, but then it was just called Dead Rising 2. Originally I thought it was intended to be an alternate timeline, like the game would follow along with the events that took place with 2's protagonist Chuck Greene. But as I found out right out the gate, its more along an alternate reality because aside from the story pretty much following the exact pattern of the first one, the first 2 that is, there is a cutscene and boss fight very early on where you actually have to fight Chuck Greene on his chainsaw motorcycle. Really, it was the most interesting scene because it painted an interesting picture and let me imagine how Chuck failed between Dead Rising: Case Zero and Dead Rising 2 and makes it a believable reality. That's always been an interesting concept to me, to take the hero of one game and make him a villain in the next, something that I believe was tried in Tales of Symphonia 2 and the now scrapped but being reconsidered Final Fantasy VII-2.

Chuck in DR2:OTR is one of the best scenes ever. The whole time you can imagine
 his decent from defeat to denial to insanity in the brief moments you see him. 

I'm getting off topic. Originally with this idea, I wasn't bothered that this is what they did. It fits well and its fun to see Frank's reactions to somethings.  But what bothers me is that it feels like in some of the scenes, Frank is just repeating the same lines of dialogue that Chuck delivered in the original version. I might have to replay 2 to confirm this. Frank does add to end of some fights some terrible cheesy one liner when he wins, and yes at one point he brings back his infamous catch phrase, but he delivers it with a smug irony, like he knows the humor of it now. However, when I feel the game starts to become something its own, sometimes someone will just say "Hey you're Frank West! Original dead rising 2 dialogue line!". This to me is somewhat irritating because it feels half assed. While the setting was the same, I hoped that the way the story played out would be different. Sure some scenes change subtly, but just call this what it is: Dead Rising 2: The version people wanted and we should have released first.  

Bibi is one of my favorite Pyscho's. Just an aging showgirl who just doesn't get it.
both Chuck and Frank act like their being hit on by their mom. Hilarious.

So for the most part, most of what made DR2 good is still here. Most of the controls haven't changed so its easy to pick up and start playing. Leveling up Frank functions the same way as the previous Dead Rising games, The best rewards are found from saving survivors who, like in DR2, are generally much smarter and braver than in the first DR game. So keep a handgun or shotgun handy for when saving people and order them ahead. They dash to the point and then huddle up and shoot anything that comes by. Much easier to save them in groups now. Bosses provide fairly decent PP as well and most of them can be found in the same places and times as the previous DR2. In addition to that, It wouldn't be Frank West if you didn't take pictures as well and taking them at the right time offers big PP opportunities, (lol, big PP.. It may be juvenile but its still funny). And yes the timed mission mechanic is still pretty annoying but at least you can just use the zombrex at the hour you need to than running back to the safe house to do it.

They have added some new weapon combinations and all of the old designs still work. The Bowie Knife + Boxing glove and the Broom + Machete combos are still the same arbiters of zombie decimation I grew to love in the previous game.  Some of them are good for a laugh but you'll basically stick to one or two powerful weapons and then if you are smart, you'll get the entertainment and blade magazines, when you get the Katanas you can pretty much the ride out the game with two swords that never break. Another good tip is when you find bars or coffee places, try to collect Wine or Coffee Creamer, combining 2 of each of those in a blender make a quickstep drink which covers a lot of ground quickly. So when not saving people its good to know where to make those because when saving people, they get the quickstep ability too, makes some rescues a breeze.

The soundtrack rocks my ass off. Dead Rising always has a kick ass soundtrack. The ambiance for the casinos and malls is the same plasticy "muzak" you would hear in actual malls. But when you would fight the psychopaths or other bosses, you get some kick ass hard rock, hardcore, or metal soundtrack that really amps up the fight and makes them very fun and entertaining. These soundtracks kick ass and totally make some of the fights and if you don't think so then you are brain damaged. Go to youtube and check out Celldweller's "Own Little World" or Chuck's boss theme "Firewater". Capcom understands boss fights and making them feel awesome.

There is also a sandbox mode, basically you get the freedom to browse the map and try to do various challenges that rank you online and reward you with money. You can carry this over to the actual story mode but It really isn't necessary as there are many was in the actual story mode to build money, its a neat little time sink though for the completionists.

The presentation in this game is what you have come to expect, graphically nothing has changed from DR2 to DR2:OTR. The survivors and zombies are pretty generic looking save the showgirls but not horrid. The major characters and bosses though, are all pretty well designed and have been polished up for the release, and with the proper HD sheen the characters could look downright lifelike, especially Rebecca Chang who admittedly I rule 34'd (don't judge me). The Boss characters are generally well designed and diverse as well, some of them just downright hilarious. A few of them reference some throw backs to previous DR games as well. I don't know why I didn't notice this before but something with the voice acting didn't settle with me. While most of the male characters act reasonably normal given the situation, all the of major female speaking roles with the exception of Stacey seem to be like they are all delivering their lines like they were hired by the soft core pornography actors association. All the dialogue they give is over sexualized and drenched in innuendo, and you barely get a feel for an actual character until much later in the game.

"Your performance was a little limp tonight, Frank. At that age you need pills for that."
I wish I was making that line up.

Rule 34: Its not always a bad thing... (seriously, Don't judge me)

One thing I wanted to specifically address about the presentation is Frank's actual appearance. When I first started playing the game I watched the intro cinematic and even the beginning play through, I thought little of it at first. "Oh there's Frank! This is gonna be awesome." But as I played on, in one of the first cutscenes the Rock mentioned that Frank sold baldness remedies, and it reminded me about the cover. I couldn't help but notice when I looked at it that Frank was definitely balding on the cover. It just looked strange, and now that they mentioned it I couldn't help but notice it. Then I started looked at his actual appearance as I played. I noticed Frank doesn't really run as much as he has kind of a waddling shuffle. He had that in the first DR but it definitely was more noticeable in this one, he also looked a bit more heavy set as well. I thought it was just design of the suit but nope, Frank got fat. At first I was somewhat off put by it, but then something clicked. Frank is an actual everyman. He's not a superhero, he's not some well cut trained soldier or a well traveled adventurer like say Nathan Drake. He's a dude who let fame get to him and lived a fast paced lifestyle that crumbled around him and fell into some bad vices. That topped on the degenerative nature of being bit by a zombie in the first game, it was completely natural and believable that he would let himself go. You tend to hear a large number of female gamers complain how women portrayed in video games are just over sexualized bombshells with massive chests. Now you are starting to see women in gaming starting to have more normal and regular appearances, but you don't really notice this kind of thing about men. I am going through the list of games across from my bed here, and aside from games with create a character, most of the male leads all have the same generic hero archetype. I stumbled upon this article that describes this realization pretty well. Perhaps this is a bit liberal arts douchey of me to make note of, but I thought it was an interesting point and I think I would like to see more actual average joe's as game protagonists.

Sorry about that, let me get back on track here. So if the game seems to be the exact same game as the one I played before, and not much of it seemed to just seemed to show any other variance the one before it, why would I continue to play it? Well, that's just the inherent beauty of this games design. Its just fun to run around to mash zombies into paste. And as I played through, the story does eventually start to branch off from the original path about half way through, making the game an alternate timeline as well.  I guess it still somewhat fits but the last boss is nothing short of ridiculous. But as soon as I finished, even having like 3 other games to play, I wanted to keep playing this one because I wanted to save all the survivors and keep leveling my character, keep discovering new weapons, want to rip through with my stronger character to see all the endings. I ended up playing this back to back just so I could rip through with all the levels and abilities I've earned. My same reaction to the other Dead Rising games.

Its a cool little add on to Dead Rising 2 but really it didn't need to exist. I, like most people, was pretty disappointed when Frank wasn't the star of the sequel but it was cool that Capcom listened to the fans and eventually gave them what they wanted. 40 Bucks for this title seemed a bit steep for something they didn't add all that much to, but I'm glad that I have it and its added the to play life of a game I was done playing. If you are a fan of Dead Rising, I would say it is worth a pick up but I might recommend waiting on it coming down in price a little bit. 

Bastion (XBLA): The indy game that could

As I recover from my new years hangover as I'm sure all of you are as well, I've decided to take a small break from the glamorous lifestyle of playing games by myself, and have enlisted the help of some contrasting personality and opinion for this next review. Lady Blue, The floor is yours...

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Hello! Big Sister here sitting in for our Ragemaster at the moment, to talk to you for a bit about Bastion - the little indy game that could.

BASTION: (XBLA, STEAM)

There were two things that attracted me to this game: the art style, and the fact that in the demo you could smash the fuck out of every single object in sight. I can say that the game delivered consistently on both of those points so if that's all it takes to drive you then it's worth a play through at least. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Bastion is a pretty simple, straightforward platformer. You play as a nameless character, known only as The Kid, who hacks his way through shortish levels capped off by boss fights. The Kid wakes up to an annihilated world and sets out to find what's happened, heading for a haven called The Bastion (which was conveniently built just in case this exact circumstance should occur). On the way there he realizes that pretty much everyone is dead, as a result of what they refer to in the game as "The Calamity". Adventure ensues.

I would not call the gameplay of this game its strength, as the levels (of which there are maybe a dozen or so) are pretty brief and the boss fights are not super challenging. What makes it so awesomely playable is Rucks, a secondary character who talks like a cowboy but looks like Colonel Sanders, and narrates your every move throughout the entire game. In in between action narration, he's dropping cryptic blurbs about the background of the story, what led up to this point, and where it could possibly be going. So, while you're playing the game, you're also being told a story. It might seem like it could get annoying, but it doesn't. Somehow it just works. In fact, I'm reading my own writing in Ruck's voice in my head as I'm writing it. How fucked up is that?

Other game elements include building up your home base with practical shops to work on your weapons or add challenges & powerups, collecting a series of weapons throughout the game which include melee and distance weapons, earning or finding special skills, and seeking mementos of all the folks who are now ashen corpses. (you run into them throughout the game and can hack them into smoky nonexistence. Effectively killing them twice). There are also some "shooting range" type of challenges for each weapon you acquire, with three prize tiers on each level.

As far as gameplay goes the play control is pretty good, although you can't really navigate in true 360 degrees so sometimes lining up shots is hard, but the game likes to auto aim on what's closest or mostly in front of you so it's not often an issue. If you're locked on, you can toggle targets, and if you're in attack mode, it will auto target to the next enemy once your focus is dead. You can be equipped with any two weapons at a time, plus a special skill and a shield which can also deal damage with well timed blocks. This brings me to one of my few complaints about the game: the in-level weapon swap. If you find a new weapon mid level (and you do, on almost every level) then it is auto-equipped-taking the place of whatever you were using before. You can't switch back until you return to the Bastion at the end of the level (unless you find an armory mid-level which happens not nearly often enough for my taste). At least the levels are short enough that you're not stuck with it for long, but I don't like being force fed an item. The only other real inconvenience has to do with the map edges. In this game, the ground is floating in an abyss. If you fall off the edge, you fall off the edge. You don't die, but you do take a damage hit when you come plummeting back onto the map. (Oh, I didn't mention that there is a lot of plummeting in this game).

As I mentioned, this isn't a long game. I played through in two sittings. If you want something super challenging then this probably won't grab you, but if you just want to be entertained by some beautiful game design a good story, and some odd folksy sort of music that is haunting and catchy in a way I never thought I'd enjoy but do in fact to a borderline obsessive degree, I'd say spend the points (or the five bucks, you Steam people).

The Ragey's: The Rage Quitter Year End Wrap Up.

So since I am an official blogger now so I guess I should do some kind of introspective year end post about everything I played. And since everyone and their brother seems to do some form of top ten list or awards listing, I guess I have to do one as well. Keep in mind, as I've said before, I am not a paid professional so I can only cover what I have played. So if I turns out I didn't list something you felt deserved and award, then I hadn't played it, didn't want to, or wasn't going to. So feel free to fashion an award with a wooden spoon and tin foil so you can accept on behalf of Gears of War 3 or Call of Duty because they won't get one here. Anyway, get comfy, and without further adieu...

The 2011 Ragey's: presented by Southern Comfort

It's not but seriously So-Co. Sponsor me.. Please..

10: The Angrily Masturbating outside of your Ex's window while their sleeping with their new fling award for "Game I wish I got to play" goes to....

The 3rd Birthday (psp)

Probably one of the worst things in of my most nerdy moments, is having to listen to me jerk off the Parasite Eve franchise. A horror action RPG that was released in 1998 on the Playstation and then released as a full blown survival horror with RPG elements in its 2000 sequel, this universe has always had a special place in my heart. From the very start of the first game where an opera house audience bursts into flames, I was in love with this game. After vanishing for 10 years it finally makes a return, but on the PSP of all things. It got very poor reviews and by that point I had stopped buying PSP games. So instead I lustfully imagine how much fun it could be every time I pick up the box longingly at work. Like I'm creepily stalking Aya Brea... Maybe someday.... someday...

9: The Adventure Express Garbage Coaster garbage award for "Biggest Disappointment" goes to.....

Dragon Age II (XB360/PS3)

I loved the crap out of the first Dragon Age and have played it through many times. It basically contained everything I liked about fantasy: long epic storyline, interesting and fun characters (except Alistair being a whiney douchebag), a reasonably simple combat interface, hilarious and serious dialogue, and a large degree of customization to character and story. So when I played the demo to see they borrowed some of the great aspects of Mass Effect II to give the character voice and make combat sharper and more involved, I expected DA2 to be superior in every way. More or less I felt that way about those two points but to make those improved they seem to do away with all the different maps, locations, and story. We almost get 3 mini stories that are rather slapdashly solved, leaving the game to just be one big tease to Dragon Age 3. I suppose its still fun, but it basically 5 maps stretched out to a massive intermission.

8. The Jigsaw was in the room the whole time award for "Biggest Surprise" goes to.....

Shadows of the Damned (xb360/ps3)

I had never heard of this game when it came out. It honestly didn't show up on my radar at all. Even looking at the box art I wasn't moved to play it. But when I went home that day and fired up my Xbox at least 3 or 4 friends were playing it. I flipped on my PS3 and 2 other friends were playing it as well. So out of curiosity sake I went back out and picked it up to try it. Needless to say it was basically all the fun I had with say Resident Evil 4 but what really grabbed my attention isn't so much the story as it was the sheer ridiculousness  of the banter and language used. The game is just a 8 to 10 hour dick joke. At first it came off as juvenile and annoying but the longer it went on the more silly and hilarious it became. Basically adding an interesting darkness mechanic, a stream of penis jokes, and a 3rd person shooter mechanic I have grown to love made this one of the best random finds for me this year.

7. The I don't gives a shit about two British Twats getting married award for "Most Over hyped game " this year goes to.....

Limbo (XBLA/PSN)

So I know I am going to catch heat for this one, but I can't think how many people came into their panties when they talked to me about how amazing this game was. One of the best things I can download on the marketplace. Almost every magazine gave it a stellar review and every critic ranted about how it was a must have. So finally getting around to play it I was stunned to find out this gem of a masterpiece was nothing more than a greyscale noir version of essentially a Mario game. Maybe platformers have passed me by but after a very impressive and cool looking first level featuring a chase from a massive spider silhouette, the game then dropped to a slow paced crawl for me leaving me with little motivation to keep playing. Don't get me wrong, Limbo is not by any stretch bad. I love the art style, the open ended interpretation of the story structure fits this game perfectly, and the puzzles are clever, but it just left me feeling emptier than I was expecting. That complied with a with a very abrupt ending, I felt that Limbo got a lot more hype than it deserves. I thought Braid was better.

6. The Ice Ice Can't Touch this award for "Amazing then Forgotten" game of the year.

Dead Space 2 (PS3/XB360)

So this listing was supposed to be my award for most underrated, but the 4 games I was going to mark as underrated were anything but after doing some research, so I'd like to take a second to talk about Dead Space 2. I really would try to push the first of this series when customers were looking for something different and people would give me endless complaints or reasons why they wouldn't play it. The 2nd game came out and sold incredibly well, selling well over 2 millions copies, yet whenever I discuss this game with others, I never seem to find anyone who likes the game. It's just a game with solid mechanics. A tried and true 3rd person over the shoulder shooter with intense action. The game may not be scary like other horror games are but its nice to fight things that don't just require a headshot to take down. If there are any games that deserve a replay, its Dead Space 2.

5. The 18.50 For two Coors Light drink minimum at the Glitter Gulch strip club in Vegas (seriously, fuck that place.) award for "Worst Value" goes to....

Portal 2 (XB360/PS3)

Man... This one is gonna hurt to write. I am such a huge nerd for the Portal franchise. But I have to be realistic. The first in this series was a wonderful little surprise stuck in as a bonus to the Half life: Orange Box, so despite it being a tad short, its more than adequate for what you paid for it. Portal 2 was a stand alone release and it can be near impossible to duplicate perfection. Now, I love this game. Love it to death, but lets be honest here. Its a tad longer than the first one and they did introduce some new characters and interesting mechanics for puzzles, but with no deviations to repeat playthroughs or the multiplayer getting fast enough DLC content, its a game that really you only need one play unless you're an achievement whore, which I am not. Love this game to death, but 60 dollars? I can't help but feel cheated.

4. The I'll have just one more then I'll quit, I can stop any time I want to award for "Best Value" goes to....

Yakuza 4 (PS3)

So I'll try to restrain from beating this game off any harder than I already have in the past 6 months since this blog's creation, but any game that I can play once, lose my save, play it AGAIN, and then continue to play it in premium mode tallying well over 150 hours and still only achieving about 34% completion, I can't think of a better example of money well spent. I still have the urge to go back and try to complete all the sidequests and mini games. With a mind numbing variety of different activities on top of the entertaining combat, Yakuza 4 easily takes best value.

3.5 The Lingering Sour taste in your mouth after a hot night in the P.E. storeroom award for the "award the writer did without checking to make sure the game was actually released in 2011, but didn't want to delete his work" goes to...

Final Fantasy XIII (XB360/PS3)

Ok Squenix, I know you are probably sick of making this franchise, but the middle finger you threw your fans with this game was absolutely heartbreaking. I didn't expect perfection again after you released the masterpiece that was Final Fantasy VI. But then you eventually delivered after so long with Final Fantasy X. I know things will never be as good as those two (7 is overrated, get over it.), but seriously? I felt completely cheated after this one. You produced a 60 hour straight line for us to walk, with potentially the worst and most dislikable cast of characters in franchise history, a story line that makes no sense and was completely uninteresting, a combat system that took away more control than XII's did, cut scenes that essentially repeated the same dialogue in every single one, and the cardinal sin of just slamming all the back story in boring text screens instead of weaving it into the game as I played. I played it through to the end was completely unsatisfied. Here's hoping XIII-2 in January functions as your apology, or you risk finally killing off this timeless franchise.

3. The Thankless Cog in the Machine honorable mention goes to....

Infamous 2 (PS3)

I don't really have very much to say about this game. They took a game that was very good and then improved upon it. They tried to change the look of the hero and the fans didn't like it, so they listened to what the fans wanted. They made sure to keep everything about the first Infamous that made the game fun and they brought in two other interesting characters and added some other elements for the hero to use. Its fun to go around the map and destroy things or just skyjump and hover around. And the story line (the hero one) was well done and actually gives a difficult moral choice at the end of it. Both versions of Infamous should be an absolute staple of any PS3 owners library. Just a very good game that doesn't seem to get the recognition it deserves.

2. The Surprise guest starring role in a Bukkake Video award for "Worst Game of the Year" goes to.....

Dead Island (XB360/PS3)

Proof that the addition of zombies to anything does not always make a game better. For a guy who doesn't play very many online games and especially one that didn't like ones like Borderlands, Dead Island was hands down my worst game purchase of this year. After playing single player for an hour or two, I became so bored that I wanted to stop playing and take it back. After a brief bit of fun with some friends and dropped further along, boredom sunk in immediately again as the game was now too hard to advance alone. Its too slow, too long, combat is buggy and not entertaining, the story is uninteresting, the character models look bug eyed, the soundtrack is depressing, I could go on. I was incredibly excited about this game but getting excited over a single promotional CGI animation can bite you on the ass. And It certainly did here. The more I look back on this game the more I regret getting it. Fuck Dead Island. Dead Island Sucks.

1. The Biagio's Large Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza incredibly regionally specific reference Award for "Best game of the year" goes to...

Dark Souls (PS3/XB360)

If you didn't see this coming, you need to get your brain checked. Being a gamer back in the C64 era, I have grown up on games being merciless to me. This game brings up a pulse rate and an excitement while I play it ever single time that no other game does. The fact that I can play it through multiple times and never get bored with it, memorizing every inch of map and learning every item combination, and still get my ass kicked by common enemies or drop in to win and lose PVP without having to hear children screaming in ear as I play just adds to this release. Every single time I play a character and say "alright, next time I want to try it as THIS type of character" and repeat the process over and over again. The game is brutal but easily the most satisfying when you start to master this game. And every time I stop playing it for a few weeks and pick it back up, its brand friggen new again. Dark Souls is just flat out fun and awesome if you have the patience to hang in there.

Thank you all for reading for the past six months and making this fun for me to do. Hope your holiday was good and your new year doesn't suck like I expect mine to. See you in January.