Saint's Row: The Third (XB360): Swinging around a Big Purple Dick.

When I first heard about Saint's Row I had heard that it was a Grand Theft Auto clone and nothing more.  Because of this I had no interested in playing it. Same thing when Saint's Row 2 came around. But a few months after it was released I started to hear some rave reviews about how it was better than GTA. So intrigued I took home the second installment and after making a friggen picture perfect image of myself I began a highly entertaining play through that forever made me a fan of the game. After backtracking to the first game, I was more than ready to sit down and start playing...

SAINT'S ROW: THE THIRD (XB360)

The game picks up a few years after the events of  Saint's Row 2, and the 3rd Street Saints are the hottest thing on the streets since Wrangler jeans. Television shows, energy drinks, movie deals, their own clothing line, and still taking the time to bang on the streets. The game opens up with a severely made over version of the SR2 cast about to pull of a bank heist with some method acting movie star, although the routine has become that, just routine and uninteresting. However, this heist goes wrong as all the tellers are armed with shotguns and shit quickly goes haywire. After then ensuing gunfight with the bank tellers and the subsequent police swat teams, the Saints are arrested and then taken to the figure head of an organization known as the Syndicate. They offer the Saints a shitty deal and in typical Saints fashion mayhem ensues. After a daring escape we take control of the action and begin to take the streets of Steelport and get back at the Syndicate.

So right out the gate, I have to say I was a little disappointed with a lot of the hype going into this game. Primarily I was not thrilled with the overall design this time around. Everything in the trailer seemed very over the top and cartoony and when they started to show the game play footage it wasn't looking to be much better. When the game first opened up I wasn't even sure if the cast was the same until someone mentioned Shaundi. Looking at her new image I didn't even think it was her, I was actually disappointed because the easy going chill hippy chick had turned into the gun toting gangsta psycho. I guess it makes sense on a thematic level, she joins this gang and rises to the top ranks, then becomes famous has money so she changes her image, but ugh.. Makes her a lot less likable. It seems like all of the characters in this game took a step back visually, as pretty much every seems to have adopted a more animeish kind of appearance, and I would say this stands out with the twins the most. Its not off putting I guess, but SR2 did a better job of finding a realistic balance between real and silly.

Nope, not Tom Clancy's HAWX. Missions get as out of hand as this.

Speaking of the characters, the create a character for this one seems to be severely cut down this time around. I usually make two characters when I play a game like this, one of me and then just one designed completely off the wall. The first time through I try to make a reasonable facsimile of myself, ended up doing alright just inside of a half hour. But in Saints Row 2 almost every option had sliders which gives incredible depth to each option. This version of the game they took away sliders to just one extreme to another on some options. They also cut away layers as well. Before you could pick undies, socks, undershirt, shirt, jacket, pants, shoes, hat and accessories. And with almost all of these features you have a slider to adjust things and how they sit to your liking. Now you are restricted to upper body, lower body, undies shoes and hat. It seems like a nit picky thing to complain about but it seems like it would have been easy to just lift that from 2 to 3.

I felt the face wrinkles were a nice touch. Shows how fucking tired I look all the time

Ok, So watching me being all badass helps this game be awesome. Love when my character actually looks like me

Control is basically what you would expect out of this franchise. If you have ever played a Saint's Row game or even a GTA then nothing they throw at you here is gonna knock you for a loop. The combat is still fast fluid and fun with switching weapons and running and gunning being as simple and fun as it ever has been. Cars seem to handle a little more realistically than the last game but it still maintains that arcadey feel of being able to take a turn doing like 90 mph. Now if you are being pursued by another car you can actually shake them in traffic or turns unlike in the 2nd game where if you were being chased, they were on your ass constantly.

The game is presented as the typical GTA clone usually is. Although instead of finding your mission checkpoints on the map, now you have to make a call to one of the members of your crew to activate the checkpoint before you start the mission. Otherwise you are free to explore the city, fight gangsters, or complete the goofy minigames the city has to offer. Most of them are still there and to its credit, now they aren't exactly mandatory to do to unlock missions like they were in previous installments. This time around your respect functions as more of and experience gauge and the more you have the more abilities you can unlock. They did take away most of the cutscenes that go with it that explain why you need to do 300,000 dollars of damage with a tank or why you need to fling yourself in front of traffic. And what the fuck happened to the bouncer minigame, you pricks? I loved just flinging rabid fans off the roof of a building.

The games pacing is a bit off too. I get that the 3rd Street Saints are kind of a big deal by this point in their mythos, but you are basically in a shithole apartment for about 2 missions before you raid a massive multistory tower to get an elaborate pad. By that point you are already firing rocket launchers, sniper rifles, flying attack choppers. Weapons are pretty inexpensive and so are car mods. So there are two ways to look at this: Either its cool because it gives me the toys to wreck havoc early, or it sucks because there is no build up to get these rewards and their effect is diminished. Saints Row has always had a bit of a silly approach to the game, and by making the action as over the top it really amplifies this effect. Speaking of silly? Yes, this is a weapon....

No better way to humiliate someone then publicly beating them to death with a giant purple dick.

The game has a Whored mode which is basically just a series of rapid fire challenges its entertaining for a little but it just seems like something they could have spliced into the main game. There is also an online Co-op mode to play the campaign, but if you are going to play that make sure you have punched in your online pass. I have a friend who yelled at me for like two weeks about not playing the online mode with her, and after waiting for her for 2 hours to get to position to invite me to her game, she realized she didn't have the online pass and I basically waited for nothing.  More companies basically trying to kill used online gaming.

We did eventually get the online going, She gave her Vespa nitro....

Lastly I'd like to go over the sountrack a bit. One thing that Grand Theft Auto has over Saints Row is the goofy talk radio stations that you can listen to instead of the music stations. These to me are always funny and I was pretty disappointed to find out they weren't in this one. The radio stations were pretty lack luster for the most part I felt, there are a couple of decent tracks but for the most part nothing I really cared for. One feature that the game gives you is the ability to make a mix tape so you can just select the songs you like from all the radio stations and put them on to one. I was able to find some decent songs but ultimately I didn't think much of it....  However, on specific missions, they will play a song off the soundtrack to add to the feel of the mission. There is one specifically near the end of the game that I won't spoil (unless you know me on Derpbook) but its placement was so perfect and so genius that not only did it sell the whole mission for me, but it kind of dictated my decision to what I was going to do when I was presented with a choice as well. Days after I had finished it I was still humming the song and wanted to keep playing that mission. The soundtrack may have not been the best I've heard in a game, but they made some fucking genius calls for the placement of some of these songs.

Ultimately Saints Row: The Third knows what it is. It knows it was seen as a Grand Theft Auto knock off, so they go over the top to make things very silly and fun to play. Its because of this stance that I find myself agreeing with some of the people that think Saints Row is better. Even though I came into this game with lukewarm feelings about it, playing through it changed my opinion. If you have never picked up a game in this franchise you're really missing out. Its just a solidly built fun to play game.