The Ragey's: The Rage Quitter Year End Wrap Up.

So since I am an official blogger now so I guess I should do some kind of introspective year end post about everything I played. And since everyone and their brother seems to do some form of top ten list or awards listing, I guess I have to do one as well. Keep in mind, as I've said before, I am not a paid professional so I can only cover what I have played. So if I turns out I didn't list something you felt deserved and award, then I hadn't played it, didn't want to, or wasn't going to. So feel free to fashion an award with a wooden spoon and tin foil so you can accept on behalf of Gears of War 3 or Call of Duty because they won't get one here. Anyway, get comfy, and without further adieu...

The 2011 Ragey's: presented by Southern Comfort

It's not but seriously So-Co. Sponsor me.. Please..

10: The Angrily Masturbating outside of your Ex's window while their sleeping with their new fling award for "Game I wish I got to play" goes to....

The 3rd Birthday (psp)

Probably one of the worst things in of my most nerdy moments, is having to listen to me jerk off the Parasite Eve franchise. A horror action RPG that was released in 1998 on the Playstation and then released as a full blown survival horror with RPG elements in its 2000 sequel, this universe has always had a special place in my heart. From the very start of the first game where an opera house audience bursts into flames, I was in love with this game. After vanishing for 10 years it finally makes a return, but on the PSP of all things. It got very poor reviews and by that point I had stopped buying PSP games. So instead I lustfully imagine how much fun it could be every time I pick up the box longingly at work. Like I'm creepily stalking Aya Brea... Maybe someday.... someday...

9: The Adventure Express Garbage Coaster garbage award for "Biggest Disappointment" goes to.....

Dragon Age II (XB360/PS3)

I loved the crap out of the first Dragon Age and have played it through many times. It basically contained everything I liked about fantasy: long epic storyline, interesting and fun characters (except Alistair being a whiney douchebag), a reasonably simple combat interface, hilarious and serious dialogue, and a large degree of customization to character and story. So when I played the demo to see they borrowed some of the great aspects of Mass Effect II to give the character voice and make combat sharper and more involved, I expected DA2 to be superior in every way. More or less I felt that way about those two points but to make those improved they seem to do away with all the different maps, locations, and story. We almost get 3 mini stories that are rather slapdashly solved, leaving the game to just be one big tease to Dragon Age 3. I suppose its still fun, but it basically 5 maps stretched out to a massive intermission.

8. The Jigsaw was in the room the whole time award for "Biggest Surprise" goes to.....

Shadows of the Damned (xb360/ps3)

I had never heard of this game when it came out. It honestly didn't show up on my radar at all. Even looking at the box art I wasn't moved to play it. But when I went home that day and fired up my Xbox at least 3 or 4 friends were playing it. I flipped on my PS3 and 2 other friends were playing it as well. So out of curiosity sake I went back out and picked it up to try it. Needless to say it was basically all the fun I had with say Resident Evil 4 but what really grabbed my attention isn't so much the story as it was the sheer ridiculousness  of the banter and language used. The game is just a 8 to 10 hour dick joke. At first it came off as juvenile and annoying but the longer it went on the more silly and hilarious it became. Basically adding an interesting darkness mechanic, a stream of penis jokes, and a 3rd person shooter mechanic I have grown to love made this one of the best random finds for me this year.

7. The I don't gives a shit about two British Twats getting married award for "Most Over hyped game " this year goes to.....

Limbo (XBLA/PSN)

So I know I am going to catch heat for this one, but I can't think how many people came into their panties when they talked to me about how amazing this game was. One of the best things I can download on the marketplace. Almost every magazine gave it a stellar review and every critic ranted about how it was a must have. So finally getting around to play it I was stunned to find out this gem of a masterpiece was nothing more than a greyscale noir version of essentially a Mario game. Maybe platformers have passed me by but after a very impressive and cool looking first level featuring a chase from a massive spider silhouette, the game then dropped to a slow paced crawl for me leaving me with little motivation to keep playing. Don't get me wrong, Limbo is not by any stretch bad. I love the art style, the open ended interpretation of the story structure fits this game perfectly, and the puzzles are clever, but it just left me feeling emptier than I was expecting. That complied with a with a very abrupt ending, I felt that Limbo got a lot more hype than it deserves. I thought Braid was better.

6. The Ice Ice Can't Touch this award for "Amazing then Forgotten" game of the year.

Dead Space 2 (PS3/XB360)

So this listing was supposed to be my award for most underrated, but the 4 games I was going to mark as underrated were anything but after doing some research, so I'd like to take a second to talk about Dead Space 2. I really would try to push the first of this series when customers were looking for something different and people would give me endless complaints or reasons why they wouldn't play it. The 2nd game came out and sold incredibly well, selling well over 2 millions copies, yet whenever I discuss this game with others, I never seem to find anyone who likes the game. It's just a game with solid mechanics. A tried and true 3rd person over the shoulder shooter with intense action. The game may not be scary like other horror games are but its nice to fight things that don't just require a headshot to take down. If there are any games that deserve a replay, its Dead Space 2.

5. The 18.50 For two Coors Light drink minimum at the Glitter Gulch strip club in Vegas (seriously, fuck that place.) award for "Worst Value" goes to....

Portal 2 (XB360/PS3)

Man... This one is gonna hurt to write. I am such a huge nerd for the Portal franchise. But I have to be realistic. The first in this series was a wonderful little surprise stuck in as a bonus to the Half life: Orange Box, so despite it being a tad short, its more than adequate for what you paid for it. Portal 2 was a stand alone release and it can be near impossible to duplicate perfection. Now, I love this game. Love it to death, but lets be honest here. Its a tad longer than the first one and they did introduce some new characters and interesting mechanics for puzzles, but with no deviations to repeat playthroughs or the multiplayer getting fast enough DLC content, its a game that really you only need one play unless you're an achievement whore, which I am not. Love this game to death, but 60 dollars? I can't help but feel cheated.

4. The I'll have just one more then I'll quit, I can stop any time I want to award for "Best Value" goes to....

Yakuza 4 (PS3)

So I'll try to restrain from beating this game off any harder than I already have in the past 6 months since this blog's creation, but any game that I can play once, lose my save, play it AGAIN, and then continue to play it in premium mode tallying well over 150 hours and still only achieving about 34% completion, I can't think of a better example of money well spent. I still have the urge to go back and try to complete all the sidequests and mini games. With a mind numbing variety of different activities on top of the entertaining combat, Yakuza 4 easily takes best value.

3.5 The Lingering Sour taste in your mouth after a hot night in the P.E. storeroom award for the "award the writer did without checking to make sure the game was actually released in 2011, but didn't want to delete his work" goes to...

Final Fantasy XIII (XB360/PS3)

Ok Squenix, I know you are probably sick of making this franchise, but the middle finger you threw your fans with this game was absolutely heartbreaking. I didn't expect perfection again after you released the masterpiece that was Final Fantasy VI. But then you eventually delivered after so long with Final Fantasy X. I know things will never be as good as those two (7 is overrated, get over it.), but seriously? I felt completely cheated after this one. You produced a 60 hour straight line for us to walk, with potentially the worst and most dislikable cast of characters in franchise history, a story line that makes no sense and was completely uninteresting, a combat system that took away more control than XII's did, cut scenes that essentially repeated the same dialogue in every single one, and the cardinal sin of just slamming all the back story in boring text screens instead of weaving it into the game as I played. I played it through to the end was completely unsatisfied. Here's hoping XIII-2 in January functions as your apology, or you risk finally killing off this timeless franchise.

3. The Thankless Cog in the Machine honorable mention goes to....

Infamous 2 (PS3)

I don't really have very much to say about this game. They took a game that was very good and then improved upon it. They tried to change the look of the hero and the fans didn't like it, so they listened to what the fans wanted. They made sure to keep everything about the first Infamous that made the game fun and they brought in two other interesting characters and added some other elements for the hero to use. Its fun to go around the map and destroy things or just skyjump and hover around. And the story line (the hero one) was well done and actually gives a difficult moral choice at the end of it. Both versions of Infamous should be an absolute staple of any PS3 owners library. Just a very good game that doesn't seem to get the recognition it deserves.

2. The Surprise guest starring role in a Bukkake Video award for "Worst Game of the Year" goes to.....

Dead Island (XB360/PS3)

Proof that the addition of zombies to anything does not always make a game better. For a guy who doesn't play very many online games and especially one that didn't like ones like Borderlands, Dead Island was hands down my worst game purchase of this year. After playing single player for an hour or two, I became so bored that I wanted to stop playing and take it back. After a brief bit of fun with some friends and dropped further along, boredom sunk in immediately again as the game was now too hard to advance alone. Its too slow, too long, combat is buggy and not entertaining, the story is uninteresting, the character models look bug eyed, the soundtrack is depressing, I could go on. I was incredibly excited about this game but getting excited over a single promotional CGI animation can bite you on the ass. And It certainly did here. The more I look back on this game the more I regret getting it. Fuck Dead Island. Dead Island Sucks.

1. The Biagio's Large Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza incredibly regionally specific reference Award for "Best game of the year" goes to...

Dark Souls (PS3/XB360)

If you didn't see this coming, you need to get your brain checked. Being a gamer back in the C64 era, I have grown up on games being merciless to me. This game brings up a pulse rate and an excitement while I play it ever single time that no other game does. The fact that I can play it through multiple times and never get bored with it, memorizing every inch of map and learning every item combination, and still get my ass kicked by common enemies or drop in to win and lose PVP without having to hear children screaming in ear as I play just adds to this release. Every single time I play a character and say "alright, next time I want to try it as THIS type of character" and repeat the process over and over again. The game is brutal but easily the most satisfying when you start to master this game. And every time I stop playing it for a few weeks and pick it back up, its brand friggen new again. Dark Souls is just flat out fun and awesome if you have the patience to hang in there.

Thank you all for reading for the past six months and making this fun for me to do. Hope your holiday was good and your new year doesn't suck like I expect mine to. See you in January.