People have always said to me: "CannonMan, I've always wondered what it would be like to be as pissed off as you are all the time. What does that feel like and how do I do it?"(Shut up, they do.) Well, now I can proudly announce to them that its a very simple process. Just play Catherine for about 3 to 5 hours and you will develop such a hair trigger for blood boiling murderous rage, that it would make a Tourettes syndrome support conference seem like the most zen center in the universe.
CATHERINE: (XB360/PS3)
Our story starts off with a bizarre introduction from a lady with red afro by the name of Midnight Venus, introducing the premise of the game as if you were watching some late night television show then starts the story with our protagonist, Vincent, dazing out at a coffee house with a woman named Katherine. We learn he is in a relationship with Katherine, who is a bit of a controlling but stable woman who tries to have "the talk" with him about showing more commitment to their relationship and taking it to the next level. This is something Vincent is not wild about.
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| See Ladies? We can use our cellphones when were bored of you too. |
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| Angsty doofus's like this tool don't get girls like her. Trust me, I'm an expert on the topic. |
Now then, Lets look at a simple definition Shall we?
fun /fən/
Noun: Enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure: "anyone who turns up can join in the fun".
Adjective: Amusing, entertaining, or enjoyable: "it was a fun evening"
Apparently, this term seemed to be missing on the list of things that were supposed to go into the game when development started on this project, because there certainly was a severe lack of it. The game is friggen frustrating. I will say that straight off. If you have the tendency to throw controllers, set up some blankets and pillows on the floor. If you have the tendency to scream and cuss, close your door. You will be doing a lot of both, trust me. The concept of the the game is fairly simple: A story driven puzzle platformer with some horror elements. The objective is to climb to the top as fast as you can. There are not a lot of complex controls to use aside from the directional pad or one button to use items you find as you climb or one to pull and push blocks. You can pull a block off the edge, or push a block or blocks to move a row. The tricky thing to learn about the game is the physic dynamics. So long as the edges of the block are touching, the block will remain hovering. Some blocks are harder to move than others, some you cant at all, some slide the whole length of a row. There are some that fall apart and some that are traps. Each stage has a new theme and will throw a new curve ball at you, forcing you to adjust your strategy on how to proceed.
As your proceed through each stage you will reach checkpoints, where you can talk to the other cursed to learn a little more about them and more importantly learn new techniques and tricks to assist you in climbing to the top. There are also a series of conversations you have with other characters and at a confessional about your own opinions of relationships that will determine the outcome of the game for you.
After every few stages, you reach a "Boss Stage" where some incarnation of Vincent's fears or trepidations will manifest themselves and chase you up the level. Increasing the challenge. Here is my problem with that, this game isn't exactly easy for the first time play. The controls are kind of awkward to learn and its hard enough to just keep pace with the stage so it doesn't fall below you. Throwing in a boss that chases you and leaves you with that much less time is just going to result in constant deaths.
And you are going to die in this game. A lot. To infuriating levels. If its pushing things in the wrong order and leaving yourself trapped, taking too long to think of what to move, not noticing a trap somewhere, or just the boss spam killing you, you are going to hear the violin game over screen many, many times. But if that wasn't frustrating enough, they give you a limited number of lives to do it with! By the first boss stage I was cussing at my screen and had to turn the game off. It was fucking infuriating.
What makes the game so frustrating is that the controls are very awkward in and of themselves. As I said its really just a matter of using the D-pad but the problem is sometimes when you climb down, you accidentally climb behind the level. The camera can only spin about 45 degrees either way, so if you are well behind a stack and you moved a block, you get to eat shit. Even better is when you are on the other side, they inverse the controls, so its very easy to get yourself stuck in a position where you cant get back before the bottom drops out. I would say at least 60% of the deaths I had in this game came form me not using the right control when I wanted.
I think what really got under my skin the most is that watching the cutscenes just made me as angry as the levels did. Through the entire play through during every single cutscene I'm thinking. "Jeez, Vincent is an asshole" or "God what a bitch!". Through most of the game I am getting increasingly angry at what a unlikeable set of douche bags this cast of characters is. But to make matters worse, I start comparing things that are happening to the game to my personal life and getting even more angry and depressed. I am getting mad at a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, for him having two other FICTIONAL CHARACTERS hanging all over him or wanting to be with him despite him being a complete prick in both situations. I'm getting jealous over people who don't exist! Good lord its my high school anime disillusions all over again. Maybe if I didn't play video games I wouldn't have this fucking issue, (you know, in addition to good looks, charm, a notable presence, confidence, or a generally likable personality. But that's another post for another blog entirely.) And while the story starts off as something most people can relate to and follow along with, to quote Yahtzee: "The story goes 8 ways bananas by the end". There is a massive jump from reality to fiction (more so than what you are already accepting in the premise) that it so jarring it almost put me off from finishing the game.
The Last thing I want to bang on about is this character here: Erica Anderson.
In between stages you visit Vincent's bar "The Stray sheep" with his friends. The Waitress there is Erica, she is also a friend of the group of main characters. She is cute, flirtatious, and charming. In between cutscenes you can roam around the bar and talk to her to learn more about the curse. The exact quote I told my sister was "Both of these Catherine's piss me off. I wish the game had more to do about Erica, she is the hotness." Well, without spoiling too much the best good ending you can get unveils a little secret about Erica that makes me want to retract that statement or confuses me for having it. I can hear my sister laughing at me already.
Here's the thing though.. Through all the cussing and screaming and bitching I've done about this game, it was never so frustrating that I would put it down for long. I had to beat the next stage. I shot a video of me playing one of the later stages and no joke it ran for 45 minutes and I couldn't do it, I couldn't post it because the quality sucks and you cant really see the screen. I was mad, but would never quit. But then in the last few stages.. something happened.. Something about how I was playing clicked, and I realized essentially if you focus on just the LEFT and RIGHT keys and really nothing else, the game feels a lot let complex. Suddenly I found myself starting to really fly up the stages, and then learning a few of the snake tactics, there were very few levels that would slow me down. Going back to the earlier stages I found myself rocketing up the towers like a gunshot, suddenly I was trying for gold ranks and not just beating the level, I was having more fun with the game. I was trying to race through the stages to see what happened next. I guess the point I am begrudgingly getting to is that the game actually is pretty fun once you get the knack of it. The game also has something along the lines of eight different endings so it does have some replay value although after one or two times I was totally over it. There are also time trial modes and multiplayer as well.
So I suppose I would say Catherine is worth a try, but you would be well within your rights to smash the disc with a hammer for the amount of cheap deaths it gives you, or trade the game after you've got your fill.
As your proceed through each stage you will reach checkpoints, where you can talk to the other cursed to learn a little more about them and more importantly learn new techniques and tricks to assist you in climbing to the top. There are also a series of conversations you have with other characters and at a confessional about your own opinions of relationships that will determine the outcome of the game for you.
After every few stages, you reach a "Boss Stage" where some incarnation of Vincent's fears or trepidations will manifest themselves and chase you up the level. Increasing the challenge. Here is my problem with that, this game isn't exactly easy for the first time play. The controls are kind of awkward to learn and its hard enough to just keep pace with the stage so it doesn't fall below you. Throwing in a boss that chases you and leaves you with that much less time is just going to result in constant deaths.
And you are going to die in this game. A lot. To infuriating levels. If its pushing things in the wrong order and leaving yourself trapped, taking too long to think of what to move, not noticing a trap somewhere, or just the boss spam killing you, you are going to hear the violin game over screen many, many times. But if that wasn't frustrating enough, they give you a limited number of lives to do it with! By the first boss stage I was cussing at my screen and had to turn the game off. It was fucking infuriating.
What makes the game so frustrating is that the controls are very awkward in and of themselves. As I said its really just a matter of using the D-pad but the problem is sometimes when you climb down, you accidentally climb behind the level. The camera can only spin about 45 degrees either way, so if you are well behind a stack and you moved a block, you get to eat shit. Even better is when you are on the other side, they inverse the controls, so its very easy to get yourself stuck in a position where you cant get back before the bottom drops out. I would say at least 60% of the deaths I had in this game came form me not using the right control when I wanted.
I think what really got under my skin the most is that watching the cutscenes just made me as angry as the levels did. Through the entire play through during every single cutscene I'm thinking. "Jeez, Vincent is an asshole" or "God what a bitch!". Through most of the game I am getting increasingly angry at what a unlikeable set of douche bags this cast of characters is. But to make matters worse, I start comparing things that are happening to the game to my personal life and getting even more angry and depressed. I am getting mad at a FICTIONAL CHARACTER, for him having two other FICTIONAL CHARACTERS hanging all over him or wanting to be with him despite him being a complete prick in both situations. I'm getting jealous over people who don't exist! Good lord its my high school anime disillusions all over again. Maybe if I didn't play video games I wouldn't have this fucking issue, (you know, in addition to good looks, charm, a notable presence, confidence, or a generally likable personality. But that's another post for another blog entirely.) And while the story starts off as something most people can relate to and follow along with, to quote Yahtzee: "The story goes 8 ways bananas by the end". There is a massive jump from reality to fiction (more so than what you are already accepting in the premise) that it so jarring it almost put me off from finishing the game.
The Last thing I want to bang on about is this character here: Erica Anderson.
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| Looks can be deceiving. |
Here's the thing though.. Through all the cussing and screaming and bitching I've done about this game, it was never so frustrating that I would put it down for long. I had to beat the next stage. I shot a video of me playing one of the later stages and no joke it ran for 45 minutes and I couldn't do it, I couldn't post it because the quality sucks and you cant really see the screen. I was mad, but would never quit. But then in the last few stages.. something happened.. Something about how I was playing clicked, and I realized essentially if you focus on just the LEFT and RIGHT keys and really nothing else, the game feels a lot let complex. Suddenly I found myself starting to really fly up the stages, and then learning a few of the snake tactics, there were very few levels that would slow me down. Going back to the earlier stages I found myself rocketing up the towers like a gunshot, suddenly I was trying for gold ranks and not just beating the level, I was having more fun with the game. I was trying to race through the stages to see what happened next. I guess the point I am begrudgingly getting to is that the game actually is pretty fun once you get the knack of it. The game also has something along the lines of eight different endings so it does have some replay value although after one or two times I was totally over it. There are also time trial modes and multiplayer as well.
So I suppose I would say Catherine is worth a try, but you would be well within your rights to smash the disc with a hammer for the amount of cheap deaths it gives you, or trade the game after you've got your fill.
Oh yeah, and Toby is the worst...
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