Gravity Rush Remastered (PS4): A Charming Case of Vertigo.

This is one of those games I took a flyer on. I didn't own a vita until way late into its cycle, so really all I knew about this game is what the Title was called, that gravity was involved, and that the main character appeared in an iteration of hot shots golf. Cute blonde character who also dresses like a Maid. Worked for me.

But then I started hearing rumblings about it getting a PS4 HD release (because apparently they don't make "new" video games anymore), and I started seeing articles about what a darling this game was that didn't get the love or respect it deserved. I also hear similar reviews from some friends who have played it, so I decided why not give it a shot.

GRAVITY RUSH: REMASTERED:(PS4)

The story of Gravity Rush is confusing. We start off with the Amnesiac trope as we take the role of a girl named Kat who plummets to a floating city called Hecsville and wakes up knowing nothing about herself. In her ambling confusion she comes across what appears to be a spectral cat she dubs "Dusty". This cat somehow gives her the ability to shift the direction of gravity for her giving her a makeshift ability to fly.

In the opening moments of the game, a gravity storm threatens to further pull apart the city, with a small child clinging for dear life. Kat uses her new found ability to try to rescue the child before he is pulled away into the abyss. Kat manages to succeed in saving the child, but was unable to save their home. Instead of being grateful, the father and rescued son vilify her for not saving their home, showing an intense disdain for "shifters". 

Kat gets mixed reactions from the people in the city, and decides that before she starts anything she needs to find a place to stay and clean. After situating herself, she sets out into the city to try to find out clues of who she is, and hopefully fend off the gravity monsters (called Nevi) that stand in her way and rescue and assist the citizens who cannot defend themselves.

Gravity Rush I guess can be consider to be sandbox game at its core. You start off on a section of the world map with pretty much the freedom to explore it at a whim. On the map you find number of locations where you can do quests or missions, and as you play through the game the map continues expand giving you new locations and more missions to do. I wouldn't say its as expansive as the Grand Theft Auto universe but its a pretty sizable environment for what was a handheld game. 

Gravity Rush is one of those bizarre enigma's of a story. From the base onset I find the amnesiac trope to be kind of a weak starting point because its just been so overused and played out. Very early Kat decides that she wants to be helpful to the people of the city, who for the most part do nothing but shun and berate her, or take her for granted. Its sporadic because it feels like it is constantly throwing various story elements at you as you play it, but many of them feel like they deviate away from the main story of finding out who she is rather than complimenting it.

Apparently, she doesn't remember that this is a major plot point either.

That being said? There is something incredibly charming about Kat as a protagonist that I found myself really liking. She's got an adorable little voice that matches the cutesy facial expressions she makes in cutscenes. It sounds vaguely french but I am fairly certain it is just gibberish with french accents. But she's earnest, playful, helpful, even sarcastic at times. She is also flawed as she is easily distracted and manipulated, so I wouldn't consider her to be a "Mary Sue" either. Actually with all honesty, if she didn't have Dusty the only thing separating her from the day to day citizen would be her clothing (which people love to point out to her).

Much of the main story seems to be delivered by means of comic book stills for the major point of exposition and questing, and actual animated cutscenes for the major pivotal moments of the game or scenes meant to increase tension such as the appearance of an adversary or a giant monster of some kind. Honestly I think it kind of adds to Kat's charm when it was told this way. It also produces some hilarious out of context screenshots. Also, for one of the more useless features you can rotate the controller to tilt the pictures a few degrees in any direction. 

It works as a means to frame the story, without cut scenes getting too long winded.

As mentioned once you have the freedom to explore, the game turns into a sandbox and you are free to do missions and challenges at whim. But it would be a good idea take some time to just fly around the city and explore. One: because the flight controls can be a little wonky since you aren't actually flying, but falling in different direction. And Two: You need gems to upgrade your abilities and unlock additional challenges.  Thankfully there are hundreds of them scattered all about the city for you to collect, some worth more than others. 

The real place to make gems though is in the challenges. Many of them are basically variants of time trials or races. Some of them require you to fly from point to point, some of them only use the gravity slide mechanic, some of them are moving items to a specific zone within a certain time period, and some of them are more combat centric. When you complete them you will be rewarded depending on how well you did. There is a bronze, silver, and gold tier reward so it is in your best interest to try to hit that gold in each one.

Once you master the Grav-Kick. you master death.

There is an abundance of abilities for you to learn. Sadly though, there is is really only a few things that you need are of any actual use, which seems like a shame considering all the nifty tricks you should be able to do with gravity based abilities. There are really two things that are immediately useful to you: Gravity Gauge Usage, and Gravity Kick. Both of these should be obvious. Usage lets you stretch out how long the gauge lasts while you suspend in gravity, and the kick basically fires you like the dart at your aim point while you are suspended.

The Kick especially because as long as you are partially decent at aiming up your shot, you can basically use your gravity kick like a yo-yo and be constantly bouncing back and forth at targets without ever needing to hit the ground. I have played through what seems to be nearly the entirety of the game with this ability. It's one of the strongest attacks you have, its the easiest to use, it functions as a dash. It's just the most broken ability in the game and you get it at the onset. 

There are a handful of abilities you might want to level later, but they are all window dressing.

Some of the abilities seem like really good ideas but then end up just being really stupid. One of them is basically a telekinesis that allows you to lift, carry, and throw things. Sounds great, but you basically trigger it which causes a singularity to makes you hover and float in the air, so you lose the level footing you had, so you have to try to re-aim a drifting camera which is already difficult, and the shot is never as precise as the reticle makes it seem. The challenges that force you to use this ability are the hardest ones. 

Really, after you max out Usage and Gravity Kick, the only other things I found worth getting was more health and anything that affected my movement or flying speed. Since most of the challenges will require you to slide or fall as fast as you can, it makes sense to bolster the speed. You can upgrade some of the carrying challenges so you can pick up multiple things at once, but 100% honesty? I played through the majority of the game without ever needing to upgrade my health. Usage and Grav Kick first, everything else is secondary.

Maybe it's just a personal preference but for some reason, I find that falling is more fun that flying. I noticed it's something I enjoy in almost any sandbox game I play. If I have the ability to get the highest point of elevation in the game, the first thing I do is get up there so I can take the plunge. To cite an even older example, there is a PS2 game you've probably never heard of called Kya: Dark Lineage that used a number free falling mechanics where you had to control the velocity and direction of your descent. They were some of my favorite parts of that game.

Which is probably why I got so wrapped up in playing Gravity Rush because that honestly is the game's major mechanic. I'll try to keep it as spoiler free as I can, but there is a segment of the game later one where you are being pursued by a rival trying to stop you to reach your goal. In it, you have this massive free fall segment which makes you feel like you are falling down to the core of the planet. You have to shift and dodge attacks, pick up collectibles along the way, and make landings on platforms to recover your ability to shift. It wouldn't say it was difficult, but it was certainly a memorable and satisfying mission to do.

Raven makes several appearances during the course of the story, because each
good heros needs an antagonist, even if Raven doesn't really have a reason to be one.

If you are like me and you purchased the HD remaster on PS4, you are also treated to the extra DLC missions included in the full game, which is a gesture that I appreciated. They could have left it off and sold it separately, so I appreciate when a game makes a definitive edition.

Being a vita port there is only so much I can say about the graphics. They were glossed up a bit and cleaned to look much nicer on the PS4 and I'm sure the frame rate is improved as well. Although the I will say the overall design of the game is kind of flat and boring. Because the game reminds me of steampunk, I find the color pallet to be boring. It's washed with greys, browns, bronzes, and off yellows. The only color that really stands out is Kat's hair. All the environments are interchangeable brown buildings so even though I travel to new area's of the map, it feels like I've already been there.

Your choice of locale is: Generic steampunk town, other generic steampunk town,
ANOTHER generic steampunk town. or under generic steampunk town.

So what didn't I like about the game? Well, the control of this game is loose at best, and that's if I am being generous. Basically you hit one of the shoulder buttons to go into stasis as I call it. You hit that button and you start to hover in place, but since there is no center of gravity you begin to spin or flip. So the camera doesn't stay put which makes it a headache if you are setting up your fall. You then hit it again and the direction you are facing becomes the next downpull of gravity, causing you to plummet that direction. It's essentially how you fly, and this is what the races are usually based around.

But because you are falling and not flying, you have very little control of your aim sans using the grav kick. And since that is the direction of the gravity, anything you hit then becomes the floor. This can make for frustrating situations where you will be trying to thread a tight needle and find yourself suddenly tight-roping a street lamp or fence. If you are doing a time trial this will completely fuck your run, and there is no quick restart outside of finishing the race and doing it again.

The game can be disorienting. especially in combat. So remember that when you
land on a surface, the direction Kat's hair moves is where down actually is.

Combat can also be frustrating. They give you a base kick to use on the ground which isn't a horrible alternative, but some of the enemies are huge and all of them only have one exposed weakness. So it doesn't make any sense to level your base attack doesn't work on half the enemies, and as we established the telekinesis isn't worth using either. So that leaves you with the grav kick, but even that can be frustrating as if you miss your target it basically sends you rocketing past the combat, scrambling to remember to stop your flight. You can find yourself disoriented, far away from solid ground, and without any more gravity usage to keep you afloat.

I feel they could have done more with the monster design. The Nevi aren't inherently bad looking, but they fall under a kind of generic trope. Shadow monsters with minimal features outside of a glowing weakness is kind of played out and over done. But thankfully this prevents them from using pallet swaps for the most part. You can tell by their weakness if its a standard baddie or elite level monster, but outside of those two it forces the game to at least design all the Nevi differently so you have a varied difference of flying and land monsters.

All enemies have exposed weaknesses, but some of them don't get exposed immediately,
Some you have to wait to expose, others appear as you take out other weak points. Stay offensive. 

The music is... ehh... It's not great.  I suppose the best compliment I can give it is that its not grating and annoying. It's just uninspired, generic. I couldn't hum a single bar or melody for you of any of the songs in the game because its so plain you don't even notice it. The only song that you will be able to recognize is the little melody you hear when you get the results of doing a challenge. Because you will probably be retrying them a few times so you can get the gold level prize, you will probably be hearing it every minute or so.

One of the biggest issues is the story never seems like it goes anywhere. As I play through the game I seem to keep getting introduced to new plot threads and while little side quest plots get wrapped up, I never feel like I am getting closer to getting any explanation to the main story. What is happening? Why are there gravity monsters? Why does Kat seem inexplicably ok with not knowing who she is? Why is every single citizen in this fucking city an absolute twatknot? Seriously, no amount of good deed you do seems to end with anything other than the person you helped being shitty in response.

As you can see, they gave the graphics a real nice gloss over for the PS4 port.

For all the mysteries and plot threads they lay down, a very surprising few of them ever seem to get solved. There is no explanation of who two of the major antagonists are, we never get any indication of who Kat really is outside of one throw away slide in the final credits and even that isn't explained. There is no explanation for why the timeline suddenly jumps ahead just before the last chapter of the game. Maybe these will all be answered in the upcoming sequel, but considering this came out in like 2012, that's a long time to wait for some story closure.

The biggest problem that I have with the game is that it was very easy to put down. When I close a stream I keep saying that I am going to go back to it, but then I never end up doing so. Because of the constantly spawning plot threads, I never seem to be getting any closer to the finish and while I am enjoying the game its inadvertently causing fatigue. And with each game release it gets pushed a little further down the pile. As it turned out, I put it down for several weeks with only about an hour or so left of game play. Live and learn.

The actual context for this image is a lot less funny than its screenshot

Ultimately though, despite all the flaws I was able to find in Gravity Rush, I wouldn't go as far as to say it was a bad game. Far from it really, no game is perfect and what I didn't like wasn't game breaking. I felt it laid down a foundation for what could possibly be a very good series of games. It has a good original concept, it was fun to play, and has a charming protagonist. This game feels like it just needs a little more direction and a bit more polish to really make it shine. Now I know that they recently announced that there is going to be a Gravity Rush 2 coming out for vita and PS4, so that gives me hope that they can use this as a starting point.

I probably wouldn't have paid 60$ for Gravity Rush, but at it's currently price of 30$ (and often on sale for less than that) it was absolutely worth the jump. It took a little bit of extra prodding to get me to finish it but I did enjoy my experience with it. I think with a little more direction, focus, and commitment to a coherent story this game can really be something special. Here's hoping they learn from this game and improve on it for the sequel. 

I'll play any game that has a maid costume in it, won't I?...
Ugh.. I'm such a creep. 

Yakuza 5 (PS3): This Blog Has Finally Come Full Circle

Way back in 2011, there was a guy who had an assignment in one of his graduate college courses. The assignment basically wanted this guy to create and make a post on a new blog. That student decided since all he really did with his free time was play video games, he would make his blog about game reviews. And for the first review he did, he decided to do it on a highly under-appreciated gem on the PS3. A game by the name of Yakuza 4.

That was five years ago. I have been basically barfing text onto this thing for minimal traffic because it was a great way to put my thoughts on games into words. Some of you have stuck around from the beginning. A couple of you might be newer readers, and the other 97% of you are google bots clicking my images. Either way this blog has finally come full circle. After years and years of begging, emails, and tweets (that I didn't do) the west finally convinced Sega to release this installment of the game outside of Japan. Three whole years I waited for it, and now I have it. Let's get to it.

YAKUZA 5 (PS3)

As has become the norm, the story of the Yakuza franchise has been broken up in multiple chapters divided up amongst longtime protagonist Kazama Kiryu, his adopted niece/daughter Haruka, Yakuza 4 returning cast members Taiga Seijima and Shun Akiyama, and new character to the series Tatsuo Shinada.

Kiryu is currently living away from the sunshine orphanage he runs and is working as a taxi driver in the city of Fukuoka. After a less than chance meeting with current Tojo clan head Daigo Dojima, Kiryu learns that the leader of the Omi alliance is on his deathbed, and when he passes war will break between Tojo and Omi once again. Dojima looks to build his strength to prepare for the coming war, but inexplicably goes missing. Kiryu is once again yanked into the affairs of his former clan to try to set things right.

No matter what Kiryu does, he just can't seem to stay out of things.

Haruka has also left the orphanage in Okinawa after being scouted by a talent director by the name of Mrs. Park. She currently is living by herself in Osaka and is working and training to become a pop idol. She is gaining in popularity and has been making a name for herself in a televised idol show called the Princess League but the road has not been easy for her as she is trying to juggle training for stardom on top of adapting to a new school with none of the people she knows and loves around her.

Seijima has willingly surrendered after the events of Yakuza 4 after having his previous prison sentence commuted and is currently serving a two year prison sentence in Hokkiado. He is nearing the point of his parole for good behavior, but life inside prison has been difficult as groups appear to be out to get him, and nearing the end he hears some troubling news about his blood brother and friend, Goro Majima.

Akiyama is still the eccentric proprietor of Sky Finance money lending. Giving out exorbitant sums of money with no interest or collateral in return for it, and instead forces people do seemingly odd challenges or tests to earn their loan. He arrives in Osaka on business business trip to open up a new branch of Sky Finance, when he receives word that one of his clients with 300 million yen loan has turned up dead.  Being in town, he goes to investigate the circumstances behind the death.

Shinada is an adult entertainment writer who is basically scrapping a living. He lives in a shack, is behind on his rent, and is in some serious financial debt with a shady lender. His real problem is he is serving a lifetime ban from professional baseball for gambling and game fixing. He only played one at bat where he hit a game winning walk off homerun, and immediately took the fall for cheating. Now a mysterious client is willing to pay him a significant sum of money to try to learn the truth behind what really happened that game. 

Shinada is one of the more sympathetic characters in the Yakuza universe.
Just an honest guy caught up in a bad situation.

So obviously, the zombie infested events of Yakuza: Dead Souls clearly were not considered canon, so the game picks up a few years after the events of Yakuza 4, although in this installment we actually have the story take place in a number of different locations over the course of 5 cities. That's actually a pretty significant jump in space from Yakuza 4 which was held specifically to Kamurocho. The good news is despite having more characters to control all with different motivations, the story in this one felt a lot less convoluted. They pretty much punch out why each character is motivated in a single line: Kiryu is trying to stop a war, Akiyama is investigating a murder, etc. etc.

At its core Yakuza 5 doesn't shake up the the formula of its base gameplay if you are a regular fan of this franchise. It plays as kind of this hybrid of an on foot Grand Theft Auto style sandbox game fused with elements of JRPG styled "random battles" with a 3rd person brawler style of combat. If you have played any of the previous Yakuza games outside of Dead Souls this won't come off as a radical change of pace.

Yep, Seijima's insane superhuman strength is still on display.

But at the heart of Yakuza game is its ability to cram as much different possible shit into its package, and its even done so more here. I think I have discovered the proper way to explain this. The Yakuza franchise is like a Sega singularity. It is a swirling vortex at the center of the Sega universe and any game that exists under their fold eventually has bits and pieces forcibly drawn into the Yakuza games to contribute some of its own to the new iterations. In short, there is even more off the wall shit that you have to do in Yakuza 5. Some of it story related, some of it optional.

To give you a brief rundown, here are some of the things I have done in the first 40 hours of play: beat the shit of a lot of people, played Taiko Drum Master, worked as a Taxi driver being scored by my ability to obey the laws of the road, lost 50k on a pachinko machine, drag raced against a gang of sexy female street racers, broke out of prison, eluded my pursuers while riding a snow mobile, played Virtua Fighter 2, got into a fist fight with a grizzly bear, hunted for deer, took part in a comedy troupe audition, guest starred on a tv variety show, performed a j-pop rhythm game concert for a crowd of screaming fans against a rival act who performed simultaneously, went bowling, shot pool, threw darts, participated in multiple handshake events, received beauty tips from a transvestite, dance battled strangers on the street, swung someone by their shirt collar spine first into a light post, and a shit ton of other things I am not remembering.

You seriously fist fight a goddamn bear.  Seijima is a bad dude.

Yakuza 5's ability to cram so many different methods of gameplay into a single game is mind blowing to me. The only comparable game that I can think of that does that much is obviously Grand Theft Auto but even that franchise doesn't put in other games from its parent company within its own game. Honestly it makes reviewing a game like this difficult for me because I like to go into detail on how the game plays and how well it works, which I can't really do with Yakuza 5 because the game is constantly throwing so many different elements at you, you are constantly learning new controls. There is almost too much.

So lets focus on the main mechanic of the game: the fighting. This was always the Yakuza games bread and butter and for the most party it hasn't changed here. You get jumped by some random shlub on the street and the pass pedestrians for a ring for your and your attacks to fight in. You get a series of Light and heavy attacks that when pressed in certain order execute different move types, you can lock on and block, you can dodge, there are weapons scattered about the street that you can pick up and wail one you opponents with. Essentially the core of the Yakuza fighting engine hasn't changed.

All of the characters have unique tricks for fighting, but none of them slug it out better than Kiryu.

Fighting charges up your heat gauge, and when you hit a certain point you and you are in the situation that fills certain conditions, you and nail a heat move for big damage. I will say that the visceral of the heat moves do feel like its been somewhat turned down, but not a lot. Make no mistake about it, there is nothing easy to watch about a guy pinned on his knees and getting repeatedly kneed in the face before taking a massive kick in the neck. (But somehow also always fun to slam a bicycle on someones chest and jumping stomp on it.). I think its the lack of blood or teeth flying out of a dislocated jaw that was so prevalent in Yakuza 4 that is making it easier to stomach.

There is now also an additional red heat gauge that gradually builds over the course of several fights. This can be used for a big essence attack that usually can bring down a group of baddies (or a single enemy depending on who you play) for massive damage. There are also a few little tweaks to the combos which give you a little more to try out, but if you have played the Yakuza games before the combat doesn't change all that much. It doesn't have to because its works.

Which is funny when I think about it, because when I compare the button layout to the recently reviewed Senran Kagura: Shinovi Vs I find myself wondering what is it about that game that made the combat feel a bit more bland, while Yakuza's feels so much more skillful. Perhaps because Yakuza's is a bit more precise. Blocking takes effort, and you can't really mash at random to pull off the more damaging combos, and the multitude of different heat moves you can do the punish your opponent makes the game's combat blow open even more. Perhaps it felt like I was just performing the same combo in Senran Kagura over 15 characters, and I feel like I'm mixing them up more in Yakuza 5.

People still attack on the street for some of the most ridiculous reasons and they are just as hilarious this time around as well, but I think they got the sense that they were getting annoying to some people because now a number of them just transition right into the fight sequence without hearing Johnny Nobody explaining his imagined slight against you.

Way back when I wrote that first review for Yakuza 4, I had one major "complaint" about the game, and that is was that seeming out of the blue in this convoluted story of seedy gangsters betraying each other I had to break in the game to make a girl looking for a major loan play pretty pretty princess dressup at a hostess club 3 tortuous times. I suppose it gave context to how Akiyama does things, but it was insanely out of place and took a bit longer to do than I cared for. I couldn't blame anyone if they stopped playing the game because of it.

You may not run them anymore, but you can still go to hostess clubs to go on dates.

Yakuza 5 steps it up a notch by giving you a whole new insanely out of place chapter. Now lets be clear here, Haruka has been around since the very first game of the franchise and she deserves to be a part of the narrative as much as any other character does. But she's not a grizzled veteran of the yakuza, she's not a debonair bad ass money lender, she's not a thuggish ogre who took out 16 people at once, or any of the other character types that have graced this series. She's a young girl growing up.

So I guess the play to make her relevant was to send her down the route of a pop idol. So while she does have some major events that happen with her that do pertain to the story, all of her missions involve game modes that are a major departure from the combat. For lack of a better way to explain it, it seems like Haruka's chapter is a means of getting the player to try the minigames Yakuza 5 has to offer. Some of them are original just to her like all the dance performances, TV appearances, and so on. But some of them are just ways to get you do things you could already like shoot pool or throw darts.

Who am I kidding? I am a sucker for a rhythm game....

It's almost as if Yakuza 5 is afraid you might miss all the extra stuff you can do in the game, so it gives you Haruka's chapter to make sure you don't miss any of it. That being said, I didn't feel it was as much of slog to get through than the hostess club thing was. And its actually in Haruka's chapter that kind lays the whole foundation for why Akiyama gets involved, which of course ties into Seijima's chapter and... well you see how this works out. Yakuza is always pretty good at weaving together a compelling narrative.

Naturally, as with any game there are a handful of things that I didn't much care for. Most obviously in the case of Yakuza 5 is how fucking long I had to wait to get it. THREE YEARS! Come on Sega! Sonic is a dead horse that does not draw appeal anymore. Give it up. Please start localizing the quirky and different, the tired and overused just leads to disappointment.

Accurate depiction of Sega western localization announcements. 

I mentioned that this installment of Yakuza felt like the combat is less visceral. And while yes I felt it made the combat easier to stomach and get through, it was that sense of violent uncomfortableness that kinda made it original. It made the actual combat feel like it had some weight behind it. To give an example, say you play God of War: from the press of the start button your gutting and disemboweling people pretty much at the moment you take control of the game, and inside of minutes you become desensitized to it. The weight is gone, it becomes meaningless because that's the norm.

Now say take a take a game like Heavy Rain: there is some violence, but virtually no combat. Only on a few pivotal scenes you're character takes excruciating damage, and he reacts accordingly. Its absolutely brutal and almost impossible to watch. Because you barely see it. I feel that's the balance Yakuza 4 had managed to strike. The combat is regular, so you wail on baddies and its not unsettling because its what you do, but those finishing heat moves are cringe worthy because they are a quick snap of brutality in an otherwise "video gamey" fight. I dunno, This is just a personal nitpick.

This might be the first time I've said this but I think Yakuza might actually be trying to do too much now. I love how much extra stuff they put in these games and it really is become a bit of a staple to the franchise. But I like them more as extras. When you try to put them in as required story mechanics, it feels like you are trying to pad out the playtime. You are building this really interesting narrative of betrayal and impending gang warfare, so I feel the grizzled battle hardened Yakuza member doesn't really need story segment where he needs to fish for trout. Let me know the extras exist, but don't force me to put off the story to do it.

This is why this review has take so long to put out. I had the game purchased and was playing it way back in October or November of last year. At time of writing I've got to be close to 60-70 hours of play time, and I am still working my way through the final chapters of the game. Unless I make a conscious effort to skip side missions, the progress has been slow. And slow progress is big reason games get put down. A game should never feel like a slog to complete.

Yes, I still make time for bowling. Shut up. 

Being digital only kind of sucks. I prefer a physical release with case and instructions but at this point I was willing to take this game in any iteration I could get my hands on. Unfortunately even with my download speed, a 60 something GB download is a bitch and a half to wait for to download and install. My heart goes out to those with slower download speeds and god forbid data caps/overages.

While the story is less convoluted, some scenes do run longer than I feel they need to. This has always been a bit of an issue with the Yakuza games because there are so many repeated points and pauses for reaction when they could be getting to the point. There is a particularly tortuous scene near the end of Shinda's chapter where he's basically held at gunpoint for no joke 10-15 minutes. It drones on forever like a scene out of Metal Gear when the point could have been made in a few lines. But then again, if you have played any of the previous Yakuza titles this will not be something that surprises you.

I very much enjoyed the story, but a little editing down couldn't have hurt.

The game eventually brings you back to Kamurocho, which has been the main location for the most of the Yakuza series and honestly, I was kind of  disappointed when it did. When I was playing at all these new locations it felt like the story was evolving. But finishing here makes me feel like I'm playing Madden: Yakuza Edition. The city hasn't changed, everything is where it was. I've been here for 3 games now. I was kinda enjoying having new maps to learn. It just kind of makes the game feel like a copy-paste after such a strong start. So when I finally got back to Kamurocho, I just skipped all the sidequests because I just wanted to finish the game.

This continues to bug me, but for some reason I never feel the character models look good for the average. All of the man characters look very human and realistic. Yet any somewhat major NPC for the story just doesn't look natural to me. For lack off a better of a better explanation they feel some what slapdash and quickly put together. I guess on the whole its not too much of an issue, but when you are doing romance missions at a hostess club, its in full frame and just looks bad. Now, I know they are actually interviewing Japanese hostesses for later installments of the game, so maybe this will be fixed in the future.

Obviously, Haruka doesn't fight. So the game has dance battles to give you conflict when wandering.

Handshake events just feel like the worst thing in the world.

So I guess the ultimate question is, did it live up to 3 years of expectations? Well, yes and no. Did it provide me a new Yakuza storyline with new characters, locations, and plot twists? Yes, it certainly did on that front. Did it give me new gameplay mechanics: Yes, it added it multitude of different things to shake up the regular sandbox play. Did I get my money's worth? I would say 60+ hours is money well spent for a video game.

But at the same time, the longer I played it, the more it felt like I've played it before. It probably would have had more punch if the play time was shorter. There are lots of new minigames, but they feel shoehorned in. It didn't feel like it changed enough. I think I would have really liked the not localized Yakuza Issin because that turns the game into a period Samurai piece. That would have shaken up the whole formula and made it new and interesting. I would have been into that. But continuing the modern day narrative requires more change to keep it interesting. It started stronger but had a weaker finish.

That being said, Yakuza 5 is another satisfying installment to this series. The game is still very good despite starting to feel a little repetitive. It has no shortage of different mini games to play so there are a lot of different distractions. But I do think the game is going to need to change soon lest it wear itself out for future installments. Fans of the series will play it. I enjoyed and recommend it, but you could get a similar experience from Yakuza 4 for 20 bucks.

T-Set, you were horrible twats. I will never forgive you.

Dark Souls III (PS4): Linking the Flames

Ahh the Souls series, my old mistress. We've had some good times. I've given you money, and you've whipped me and told me what a naughty boy I am until you made me cry.  But after its over, I leave with smug satisfaction after what we've done while feeling spent and exhausted.... wait, what am I talking about again?.. Er, never mind..

Look, you all know how this is gonna go. I've been an avid advocate of the Souls series since Demon's Souls waaaay back in the day. It's clearly one of my favorites of all time. Even when I find fault in it, it still leaves me satisfied and wanting more. Now, I can agree that Dark Souls II and Bloodborne were not up to the original Dark Souls or Demon's Souls pedigree, but they were still very good. I've heard rumblings that this might be the final chapter of the Souls series, so is it an adequate swan song? Let's find out.....

DARK SOULS III:(PS4)

Do I even want to bother trying to figure out what the hell the Dark Souls story is? Alright, so Dark Souls III takes place in a land called Lotheric, a kingdom that appears to be tied to the previous Souls titles and appears to be tied to the ages of fire/dark (depending on what you chose in the first game, I think).

In this realm, fire is linked by 5 dead Lords of Cinder. When the strength of fire begins to a fade, a bell in Lotheric begins to chime causing the Lords of Cinder to rise from their grave and abandon their thrones. The chime also awakens weaker "unkindled ash" who are essentially weaker mortals (like you), and it is up to them to try to somehow find the strength to return the Lords to the thrones and re-link the fire.

The intro cinematic ends with your created character arising from their grave and looking ahead to the Firelink shrine, where your adventure begins.

Ok so first off? For as much as I love these games, I have to call a spade a spade here: The Dark Souls stories kinda suck. I have played through all of these games multiple times and every time I still have no idea what the hell is going on. Just watch the intro cinematic above, Its literally just pointless fantasy speechifying. It's like it literally doesn't mean anything nor does it really give you any explanation. Demon's Souls at the very least had a loosely coherent plotline. But Dark Souls gets more muddied with every iteration.

I will say to the credit of their storytelling, is they do a wonderful job of making me interested in the NPCs despite how little they explain. With each passing I get a little more context to a character, and I have to seek them out to proceed along, buy a little more from them, get them that one trinket that opens up things a little more. I almost never complete a quest line in my first run, and learn that I missed so much every time I do, its just an added bonus of motivation during the runs of the these games.

Apparently, story unlocks as you buy things from NPCs as well.

So from a control perspective, if you have played one Souls game you have played them all. They still have the shoulder/trigger combat system, still use the dpad for quick inventory, still no pause, etc, etc. From Software pretty much nailed on the core mechanics of the game when they created it in demons souls, and aside from a couple of little subtle tweaks (like giving weapons a specialty move) if you have played any of the other ones then there isn't going to be a lot new here. They still seem determined to make the jump button L3 which is is still stupid, though.

But I have to say for this type of game? This is probably the most perfect control scheme I have ever used. I might have belabored this point in one of the previous games but it still really holds true today for me. I don't think I have played a game where it used every single button on the controller but at the same time doesn't feel like its excessive or wasted. Everything has a purpose, and it all makes sense intuitively to me. Maybe less so for someone who doesn't game as often or is fluid with current day controllers, but this control scheme I don't think gets the praise is deserves. It is pretty much perfect.

As usual, almost every enemy can put you down.

Character customization is back to form in its usual "we provided sliders to take your basic character from ugly to OMG what the fuck happened?!" It continues to baffle me that game with such amazingly pretty visuals and attention to detail on the surrounding and armor and weapons, has possibly one of the worst character generators in history. The sliders never seem like they do anything, and when they do you just look maimed and disfigured. I want my character to be a lovely lady, and god damn it From Software you are not helping me on that front. They added a covenant where you can change it late game if you are so horrendous you can't take it, if that is any consolation.

When referring to pretty much everything else that is in Dark Souls III, I have frequently been using the phrase "an amalgamation of the Souls series". As mentioned prior I've heard this might be one of the last of this series they are putting out, so it makes sense to say that it was a smart idea to take the best ideas from the 4 games that have come before it and put them together in one really positive experience, so you will probably hear a good number of comparisons from this point forward.

You take the Fire Gem. You can take something else too, if you are stupid.

First and foremost, thank god we have brought back the massive customization of the traditional Souls games. Don't get me wrong, I loved Bloodborne but only having so many weapon choices that all did functionally the same thing was kinda boring. Have a lack of magic really meant I could only play the game one way, and without the weight mechanics there was no penalty to tank up your armor. That's all gone and we've gone back to the Dark Souls II style of stat building. So now if you decide to do a Dex build over a strength build, or perhaps an Intelligence or Faith build you now have some viable options.

And MAN do you. Flipping through the Dark Souls III wiki is showing me that you have a whole slew of new weapons and armor to choose from, but on top of that it seems that a very large selection of weapons or armors that appeared in a Souls game make an appearance here as well. So the number of weapon possibilities this time around is staggering, and from a storytelling perspective, it gives you a sense that all of these varied Dark Souls worlds might even be connected, (More on this later). Sadly though, the Black Witch set from Dark Souls II doesn't return so Lady Velfir will have to go without heels this time. (Don't judge me.)

I will say though that armor in this game seems to be next to useless. Perhaps this is something that will be fixed in later updates but tanking up my heaviest armor doesn't seem to provide any more defense than wearing the lightest stuff I have available. All it does is shorten my dodge roll, so I see little reason to do it. Also, its been discovered that the poise mechanic is actually currently turned off in the game, and they are banning players who find out how to turn it on. Poise is basically your ability to retain your stance while taking hits. I have no idea why this would be turned off, its one of the major advantages to heavy armor. Hopefully this is fixed soon.

Exploring the world seems like a merging of most of the franchise. When you first start the game you wander a small distance before you are brought to the firelink shrine, which is suspiciously close how the Abyss looked in Demon's Souls complete with firekeeper in black dress with a mask that blinds her eyes (much like Demon's lady in black). From here you can use the bonfire to teleport to specific areas like Dark Souls 2. But these aren't as linear going out like that game was, because the maps for each are are fairly large, most of them nonlinear with twists and shortcuts to bring you back to the start or open you to different areas. So while you can't do one massive circular lap of the entire map, you can do it in several areas.

Interestingly enough, its the maps and levels of this game that give me a sinking suspicion that the world of all the games are in some way connected. For example, one specific area I don't want to spoil comes directly from Dark Souls, although time had been unkind to it. Another area, while not exactly the same seems remarkably similar to the prison from Demon Souls. Also, there is a specific ring called the hunters ring that features a masked person with a hat, so there is your Bloodborne connection. Since Dark Souls lore is murky at best, you will have to draw your own connections, but I have reason to believe that this is all one universe.

Since we have shifted back to the Souls series, the boss design has shifted more back to the medieval aesthetic.  It's not the cavalcade of "dudes in armor" that Dark Souls II was, and its certainly not range of tattered looking beasts like in Bloodborne. But we seem to have a pretty decent mix of monsters and humanoid type characters for the main bosses as well as a few dragons and demons. The same "From Software" boss rule applies: the closer they are to your size, the more dangerous they are. I felt the Bloodborne bosses were cooler looking, but they do enough with the humanoids of Dark Souls 3 to make each fight feel different.

With each helper you summon, bosses get more HP. So choose how many allies wisely.

Let's talk online for a minute. We all know that I hate it sure, but in the Souls you really aren't playing the game if you are playing it offline. The covenant system is back so you can choose your alliances for weather you want to be summoned to help or invade to grief. But instead of having to travel to each location to join or leave you are given a series of banners or trinkets that you can switch on the fly whenever the mood strikes you, so there is no penalty from switching covenants and allows you to reap the rewards of all of them.

So if you are like me, an earnest and helpful Sunbro, all you do is slap on your little sun banner on and you are in the sunlight covenant. You drop your gold soul sign and get teleported to someone's game, help fight the boss, and collect your sunlight medal when you win. But then you can chose to switch to the Blue Sentinels as you explore, so if some poor schmuck gets invaded you can be whisked away to help them fend off their invader. You only need to go to your covenant's alter when you want to cash in. Since this Souls seems to be selling more than any other copy, it has been incredibly easy to find summoning help this time around.

But say you don't want random help? No worries because Dark Souls III brought back the password system they implemented from Bloodborne so all you have to do is put in a password of your choosing and have a friend do so too, and then your level is scaled to help them take down an area or boss. And color me surprised because this is the first iteration of the game that actually allows players to voice chat with each other. This is something they used to kick you out of the game for in older iterations of the game. It seems to struggle in the first area, but otherwise I've had little issue getting it to work.

My problem is invaders. One, they are horrible people. All of them. Two, the PVP in Dark Souls III is still an endless smorgasbord of shit covered dicks. Why? because after close to 5 iterations of the game they still don't have the latency issues fixed. So when I get notice that Doucheface McButtsniffer invaded my game, I have to make a dash back to the bonfire and wait for them to kill me. Don't try to fight, it's pointless. You will be circling in your fight looking for an ample shot to strike, you'll dive in and swing five or six clean hits and have nothing happen as they roll harmlessly away during the 3rd swing.

Then when they scramble they will attack the empty air about 3 or 4 body lengths away, and you will take 3 or 4 hits before you realize their complete misses are actually damaging you. Too late, you are dead. This is literally how every single invade that has happened to me has gone. I understand there is a fervent PVP community in the Souls games, but I have no fucking clue how they operate because the PVP combat in these games its a lag ridden mess. Fuck it.

I hate the Dark Souls Pvp.

Worse yet, on the PC version of the game, there is rampant cheating taking place with people modding their characters with items they shouldn't have and trouncing other online players. And even worse giving players who aren't modding their game modded weapons which are getting innocent players flags for cheating and soft bans.  PC players may get to brag about how much better games look on their expensive gaming rigs, but you don't hear console players complaining about rampant cheating and banning.

If I am looking at this game honestly, you can really see how the devs went about their approach in developing this game. They went back and looked out their legacy of work as a whole, looked at what worked, what didn't, looked at what people liked, and what people wanted. If this was going to be the last Souls game to be released obviously they wanted to really nail it. For the most part I feel that they succeed on that front. It's everything I want in a souls game.

But I wouldn't call it the best. I would say that Dark Souls III is a return to form. They went back to worked before, kept the elements people liked and got rid of some that they didn't. It provided a long fulfilling experience with lots of secrets to unravel and good amount of replayability. But ultimately it is still the 5th installment of this series/style of game. While there are some surprises to find, nothing is really surprising anymore. Demon's Souls gave us the ground work for what the game game could be, Dark Souls polished it to greatness, everything to follow feels like its trying to recapture that magic.

So while I personally don't consider Dark Souls III to be the best of the series, it certainly hits on all the points it needed to be a very worthy contender for the best one. At the very least, it is a very satisfying one to close the series out on. It certainly has game of the year potential but this is going to be big year for games. Time will tell on how well it will hold up as the year passes. I love Dark Souls III and if you are a fan of the series, you probably will to.

Seriously though, fuck you on those Ringu spider monster girls, Dark Souls III.